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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. v.761

educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. v. 761
Needless to say, one of the most important things for all children, because of its impacts on all aspects of their lives, is education. Therefore, all parents have always been trying to encourage their children to pursue fields of study which they can be success individuals based on their knowledge in the future. In this regard, some people believe that it is responsibility of educational institutions to encourage students to pursue fields which help them to find suitable job positions in the future. I agree with this statement and I will discuss my reasons in the following paragraphs. Educational institutions can easily reveal students' talents as the most important thing in students' lives that help them to gain success life. In this regard, some psychologists believe that educational institutions are not able to help students to pursue best filed, which can help them to be success person in the future, because they interact with students in short time in every day, hence they do not know much things about students' family relations as the most important thing which shape students' interests. I disagree with this approach, because in the modern time educational institutions usually try to gain information about children' s family relationships as much as they can, in order to know more about children mental situations to help students in order to find fields of study that they have to pursue. You can take my cousin as the best example for this case. Now he is around 12 years old and he is studying in one good school where the manager of school tries to have session with his parents every month in order to understand his family relationships. Thus, educational institutions have the most important role to guide students in order to choose best fields. Teachers have the most impact on their students. According to the majority of sociologists, approximately in all cultures teachers have high social positions among people. Therefore, they have argued that teachers can have big impact on individuals especially students who teachers have more interact with. Hence, these sociologists believe that because of this huge range of impacts educational institutions are able to draw suitable pass for all students by help them to avoid choosing fields which they cannot gain suitable job positions in the future. I agree with this approach because teachers have a lot of experiences about fields of study that can help students to choose best of them. By way of illustration, I can refer to some statistics which have been published by some international organization. Based on these statistics, approximately all success individuals had had good teachers or they had studied in excellent educational institutions that helped them to find fields of study that they like. Thus, teachers are one of the most important factor which influence our successful. In brief, as I discussed in the previous paragraphs, some people believe that educational institutions have big responsibility about choosing fields of study by students. In this regard, I argued that this statement is correct for a couple of reasons. First, educational institutions can reveal students' talents as the most important things for all individuals, second, teachers because of their high social position are able to encourage students to avoid form choosing not suitable fields of study.
Needless to say, one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on all aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, is education.
Therefore
, all parents have always been trying to encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which they can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
based on their knowledge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
which
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will discuss my reasons in the following paragraphs.

Educational institutions can
easily
reveal
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students&
#039; talents as the most
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important
thing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
life. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychologists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
filed, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
person in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in short time in every day,
hence
they do not know
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
things about
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; family relations as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing which shape
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; interests. I disagree with this approach,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the modern time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions
usually
try to gain information about
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s family relationships as much as they can, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mental situations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pursue
. You can take my cousin as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
example for this case.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he is around 12 years
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
old and
he is studying in one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
school where the manager of school tries to have session with his parents every month in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to understand his family relationships.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions have the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role to guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
fields.

Teachers have the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. According to the majority of sociologists, approximately in all cultures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have high social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, they have argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more interact with.
Hence
, these sociologists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
because of this
huge range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions are able to draw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
pass for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to avoid choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
which they cannot gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experiences about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
of them. By way of illustration, I can refer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
statistics which have
been published
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
international organization. Based on these statistics, approximately all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
had had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teachers or
they had studied in excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions that
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helped them find"?
helped them to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that they like.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor which influence our successful.

In brief
, as I discussed in the previous paragraphs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
responsibility about choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In this regard, I argued that this statement is correct for a couple of reasons.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions can reveal
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; talents as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their high social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
are able to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to avoid form choosing not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
102Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. v. 761

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
546 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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