Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for the younger people to take risk and explore new things than the older people. v.749

It is better for the younger people to take risk and explore new things than the older people. v. 749
Since the dawn of civilization and industrialization, the outstanding role of risk and rist taking in every individual’s life has been undeniable. Regarding the importance of the issue, a wide variety of aspects of risk has been assessed by scholars for decades. Accordingly, an unavoidable question that always has been the topic of controversy and brought about debates is whether it is better that the younger people take risk and explore new things than older people. I adhere to the idea that it is beneficial and essential for older people to take risks in their lives as well. In what follows, two conspicuous reasons will vindicate my standpoint. The first remarkable aspect to point out is that enabling the older to feel alive and satisfied is of the main advantages of taking risks by them. It is crystal clear that people who have regular activities and avoid experiencing new ways and situations in their lives are more likely to get bored, and accordingly, disapointed and dissatisfied with life. On the other hand, it is very harmful for a society to have disapointed and mentaly negetive old population since it affects the whole society escalating the total hope and slowly makes it soluted and dipressed. The statistics revealed by a recently bublished research in my country indicate that the eldery who regularly experience new activities and environments are about 65 percent less exposed to heart attack and nervous-related diseases. Moreover, one should take into account that not only does taking risk and exploring new things prevent the eldery from getting both mental and physical diseases themselves, but it also provide the youngers with better role models. Indeed, one’ basic attitudes and characteristic form through learning from those with whom they are mostly in touch, for example, parents. Therefore, the more up to date, energitic, and experienced parents are, the more wise and healthy children they will have due to the fact that they are more capable of enreach the next generation with invaluable intrinsic materials. In addition, it will lead the youngers to trust the olders and benefit from their practical experience since they know their parents are of a deep knowledge, which is gained from many risks that they have taken. In conclusion, I believe that it is crutal for older people to take risks in their lives as well based on a myriad of reasons two of which were discussed above. Consequently, it is highly recommended that the older people do not be afraid of new explorations.
Since the dawn of civilization and industrialization, the outstanding role of
risk
and
rist
taking in every individual’s life has been undeniable. Regarding the importance of the issue, a wide variety of aspects of
risk
has
been assessed
by scholars for decades.
Accordingly
, an unavoidable question that always has been the topic of controversy and brought about debates is whether it is better that the younger
people
take
risk
and explore
new
things than
older
people
. I adhere to the
idea
that it is beneficial and essential for
older
people
to take
risks
in their
lives
as well
. In what follows, two conspicuous reasons will vindicate my standpoint.

The
first
remarkable aspect to point out is that enabling the
older
to feel alive and satisfied is of the main advantages of taking
risks
by them. It is crystal
clear
that
people
who have regular activities and avoid experiencing
new
ways and situations in their
lives
are more likely to
get
bored, and
accordingly
,
disapointed
and dissatisfied with life.
On the other hand
, it is
very
harmful for a society to have
disapointed
and
mentaly
negetive
old
population since it affects the whole society escalating the total hope and
slowly
makes
it
soluted
and
dipressed
. The statistics revealed by a recently
bublished
research in my country indicate that the
eldery
who
regularly
experience
new
activities and environments are about 65 percent less exposed to heart attack and nervous-related diseases.

Moreover
, one should take into account that not
only
does taking
risk
and exploring
new
things
prevent
the
eldery
from getting both mental and physical diseases themselves,
but
it
also
provide
the
youngers
with better role models.
Indeed
, one’ basic attitudes and characteristic form through learning from those with whom they are
mostly
in touch,
for example
, parents.
Therefore
, the more up to date,
energitic
, and experienced parents are, the more wise and healthy children they will have due to the fact that they are more capable of
enreach
the
next
generation with invaluable intrinsic materials.
In addition
, it will lead the
youngers
to trust the
olders
and benefit from their practical experience since they know their parents are of a deep knowledge, which
is gained
from
many
risks
that they have taken.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is
crutal
for
older
people
to take
risks
in their
lives
as well
based on a myriad of reasons two of which
were discussed
above.
Consequently
, it is
highly
recommended that the
older
people
do not be afraid of
new
explorations.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is better for the younger people to take risk and explore new things than the older people. v. 749

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts