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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for the younger people to take risk and explore new things than the older people. v.295

It is better for the younger people to take risk and explore new things than the older people. v. 295
Getting the tertiary education plays a vital role in everybody's life, as it improves the employment prospects for individuals. However, there are several ways of how the university cost could be paid, such as, by governments, by pupils themselves or by providing them loans or subsidies. This essay is an attempt to explain the merits of each of these three ways. Fees paid by an authority, can certainly bring plenty of advantages to the nation. Firstly, as everyone can able to go universities, without having tension about its huge amount of fees, the literacy level of the country will increase, which is a significant factor in the growth of the economy. Secondly, as every citizen is literate, the unemployment rate will decrease, which will help the nation to alleviate the poverty and starvation from the country. Paying fees by students has also several pros, such as, working while studying, improves certain useful skills in them. For example, if they earn money, while studying, the students enhance the money management skill. Further, these students understand the value of money better than others, which will help them in the future. Looking at the third method, in which students could pay the fees with the help of loans. This method is the most effective one among all. Providing loans, can reduce the burden from both the government and the student. Pupils can pay the fees later, after completing studies and the government can use the funds in other prominent sectors, such as unemployment, health and transport systems. To conclude, although, all methods have their own merits, the last one is the effective one.
Getting the tertiary education plays a vital role in everybody's life, as it
improves
the employment prospects for individuals.
However
, there are several ways of how the university cost could
be paid
, such as, by
governments
, by pupils themselves or by providing them loans or subsidies. This essay is an attempt to
explain
the merits of each of these three ways.

Fees paid by an authority, can
certainly
bring
plenty
of advantages to the nation.
Firstly
, as everyone
can able to
go universities, without having tension about its huge amount of
fees
, the literacy level of the country will increase, which is a significant factor in the growth of the economy.
Secondly
, as every citizen is literate, the unemployment rate will decrease, which will
help
the nation to alleviate the poverty and starvation from the country.

Paying
fees
by
students
has
also
several pros, such as, working while studying,
improves
certain useful
skills
in them.
For example
, if they earn money, while studying, the
students
enhance the money management
skill
.
Further
, these
students
understand the value of money better than others, which will
help
them in the future.

Looking at the third method, in which
students
could pay the
fees
with the
help
of loans. This method is the most effective one among all. Providing loans, can
reduce
the burden from both the
government
and the
student
. Pupils can pay the
fees
later, after completing studies and the
government
can
use
the funds in other prominent sectors, such as unemployment, health and transport systems.

To conclude
, although, all methods have their
own
merits, the last one is the effective one.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay It is better for the younger people to take risk and explore new things than the older people. v. 295

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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