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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, magazine, newspaper and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people. v.728

Television, magazine, newspaper and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people. v. 728
Celebrities are the epitome of success for many thanks to the publicity they receive from social media and are, more often than not, imitated by those who have an insatiable desire for fame. Stemming from this fact a relevant question that is a moot point is whether behavior and action of well-known people are advertised in social media like television, magazine, newspaper and so forth. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general agreement on this question. I am, however, to a great extent of the conviction that pays attention to the life of celebrities might have deleterious effects on people' s lives especially youth. The following reasons will aptly substantiate my viewpoint. To commence with, for many people celebrities serve as an arbiters taste, morality and public opinion. When different kinds of disorders like short term relationship, drugs or alcohol leading celebrities, mature people would think that their life is not ideal but fans of these stars disagree. Generally phrased, when televisions or other social media take celebrities' behavior into consideration, some youth are more likely to listen to the word of well-known people than their own parent. For instance, many famous individuals do not make a secret of alcohol or drug abuse and this can provide fertile ground for teenagers to mimic immoral behaviors. To elucidate more on this issue, advertise these kinds of behaviors might make young people feel that overdose, drug abuse, and other negative behaviors are acceptable. Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that pay attention too much to the life of celebrities not only will have negative impacts on look and personality of youth but also on their health. To put it in another word, sometimes celebrities present on the screen or glamorized advertise with smoking in the media or magazines in an inappropriate way and people will think that it is acceptable. Going into the depth, destructive habit by celebrities not only can destroy mental and physical health but also can contribute greatly to the low self-esteem. However, glamorized or advertise well-known people' s life will not only introduce them to the other nations but also will expand our culture and civilization owing to the fact that celebrities are the symbol of culture in every given society. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that pay too much attention to the life of famous people through social media will certainly various merits and drawbacks.
Celebrities
are the epitome of success for
many
thanks to the publicity they receive from
social
media
and are, more
often
than not, imitated by those who have an insatiable desire for fame. Stemming from this fact a relevant question
that is
a moot point is whether
behavior
and action of well-known
people
are advertised
in
social
media
like television, magazine, newspaper and
so
forth. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general agreement on this question. I am,
however
, to a great extent of the conviction that pays attention to the
life
of
celebrities
might have deleterious effects on
people&
#039; s
lives
especially
youth. The following reasons will
aptly
substantiate my viewpoint.

To commence with, for
many
people
celebrities
serve as an arbiters taste, morality and public opinion. When
different
kinds of disorders like short term relationship, drugs or alcohol leading
celebrities
, mature
people
would
think
that their
life
is not ideal
but
fans of these stars disagree.
Generally
phrased, when televisions or other
social
media
take
celebrities&
#039;
behavior
into consideration,
some
youth
are more likely to listen to the word of well-known
people
than their
own
parent.
For instance
,
many
famous
individuals do not
make
a secret of alcohol or drug abuse and this can provide fertile ground for
teenagers
to mimic immoral
behaviors
. To elucidate more on this issue, advertise these kinds of
behaviors
might
make
young
people
feel that overdose, drug abuse, and other
negative
behaviors
are acceptable.

Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that pay attention too much to the
life
of
celebrities
not
only
will have
negative
impacts on look and personality of youth
but
also
on their health. To put it in another word,
sometimes
celebrities
present on the screen or glamorized advertise with smoking in the
media
or magazines
in an inappropriate way
and
people
will
think
that it is acceptable. Going into the depth, destructive habit by
celebrities
not
only
can
destroy
mental and physical health
but
also
can contribute
greatly
to the low self-esteem.
However
, glamorized or advertise well-known
people&
#039; s
life
will not
only
introduce them to the other nations
but
also
will expand our culture and civilization owing to the fact that
celebrities
are the symbol of culture in every
given
society.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that pay too much attention to the
life
of
famous
people
through
social
media
will
certainly
various merits and drawbacks.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Television, magazine, newspaper and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people. v. 728

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
408 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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