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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Countries should not isolate themselves from the world, but instead engage other countries. Use examples and reasons to support your position. v.729

Countries should not isolate themselves from the world, but instead engage other countries. Use examples and reasons to support your position. v. 729
The question being asked if countries should cooperate with each other instead of isolating themselves. That’s actually quite an interesting to write about since I haven’t given it much thought. Generally speaking, I believe that it is better for all concerned if all countries were united together instead of being seperated. In the following passage I will explain why I agree with the argument stated above. First of all, it is crucial to mention the benefits that countries would get from each other. Since every country in this world is specific and unique in its own way, I believe that we could share and popularize cultural diversity. For instance, if we were united we would be able to exchange all the different products that every country has. By way of example, if my country was untied with Greece, I could try their popular, traditional drinks and of course their amazing food in my country. Moreover, I would be easier to travel to different countries. We wouldn’t need to get visas which take months of waiting to get. So that way we could save our time and patience for other things. Another reason why countries could benefit from each other is the help they would get when being in difficult situations. For example, if a particular country was in an economic crises, other countries from all over the world would join together to help. Or if there was a natural disaster, such as floats, other countries would send aid. Finally, I think that I am not the only one who thinks that if all countries worked together there would probably be no war. Why do I have that opinion? Well, I believe that countries would have no reason for starting a war since they would get on well with each other. By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I am of the opinion that it is actually more beneficial for every country if we were united.
The question
being asked
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should cooperate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
instead
of isolating themselves. That’s actually quite an interesting to write about since I haven’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
it much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
Generally
speaking, I believe that it is better for all concerned if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
were united
together
instead
of being
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
. In the following passage I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument stated above.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is crucial to mention the benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Since every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in this world is specific and unique in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way, I believe that we could share and popularize cultural diversity.
For instance
, if we
were united
we would be able to exchange all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has. By way of example, if my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
was untied
with Greece, I could try their popular, traditional drinks and
of course
their amazing food in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, I would be easier to travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. We wouldn’t need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
visas which take months of waiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that way we could save our time and patience for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could benefit from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when being in difficult situations.
For example
, if a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
was in an economic
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "cris", "crise", "crisis"?
crises
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from all over the world would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Or if there was a natural disaster, such as floats,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
aid.

Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I am not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
worked together there would
probably
be no war. Why do I have that opinion? Well, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would have no reason for starting a war since they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with each other.

By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I am of the opinion that it is actually more beneficial for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
if we
were united
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries should not isolate themselves from the world, but instead engage other countries. Use examples and reasons to support your position. v. 729

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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