Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? 8It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use specific reasons and examples to supp v.725

8It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use specific reasons and examples to supp v. 725
Nowadays, people spend a myriad of time at work and in order to enjoy it we should think of which schedule is better for us. Personally, I prefer to work long hours just three days a week rather than short hours five days a week. There are a few reasons for that. First of all, this kind of schedule benefits my relationships with family and friends. Working five days a week can be overwhelming. A person who works this way has to wake up early every morning and when he or she comes back home in the evening, he or she wants nothing but to lay down and relax. On the other hand, if people have four days off weekly, they have enough time to sleep and recover. This provides them with a lot of energy to communicate with others. My own experience is a compelling example of this. I am a pharmacy technician and work twelve hours shift three days a week and I love it because during my time off I can play with my children and take them out to different museums and entertaining shows. It brings us closer and helps us to build a meaningful connection. Moreover, I have plenty of free time to visit my friends and relatives and participate in their lives. This is one of the reasons why I prefer this schedule. Secondly, when people work just a few days a week, they save money on commuting. Gas is quite expensive these days and if an individual has to drive to work almost every day, his expenses on fuel are tremendous, especially if his office is a long distance from his house or apartments. For instance, when I was living in a big city, my employer wanted me to be at work five days a week. Unfortunately, at that time it was the only available job opportunity for me, so I had to follow the request. In this way, I spent over two hundreds dollars a month on gas. However, with my current employment, which I mentioned above, I was able to reduce the expenses dramatically and afford to buy a new vehicle. This example illustrates my point of view. To conclude, I believe that it is better to work long hours just a few days a week. This is because it helps us to develop our relationships with those who we value the most, and benefits us financially.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and in order to enjoy it we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of which schedule is better for us.
Personally
, I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
three days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
rather
than short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
five days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. There are a few reasons for that.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this kind of schedule benefits my relationships with family and friends. Working five days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
can be overwhelming. A person who works this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
wake up early every morning and when he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
back home in the evening, he or she wants nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to lay down and relax.
On the other hand
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have four days off weekly, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to sleep and recover. This provides them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy to communicate with others. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a compelling example of this. I am a pharmacy technician and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
twelve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
shift three days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off I can play with my children and take them out to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
museums and entertaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. It brings us closer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to build a meaningful connection.
Moreover
, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to visit my friends and relatives and participate in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is one of the reasons why I prefer this schedule.

Secondly
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, they save money on commuting. Gas is quite expensive these days and if an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
drive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
almost every day, his expenses on fuel are tremendous,
especially
if his office is a long distance from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or apartments.
For instance
, when I was living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city, my employer wanted me to be at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
five days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. Unfortunately, at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available job opportunity for me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had to follow the request. In this way, I spent over two hundreds dollars a month on gas.
However
, with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
employment, which I mentioned above, I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the expenses
dramatically
and afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new vehicle. This example illustrates my point of view.

To conclude
, I believe that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to develop our relationships with those who we value the most, and benefits us
financially
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 8It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use specific reasons and examples to supp v. 725

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts