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Nowadays, many people use to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation why might this be cause? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed? v.2

Nowadays, many people use to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation why might this be cause? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed? v. 2
Over past few years, self-employment has become the first preference of most of the people, they consider it a better option in comparison to work in a company or organisation. There are some reasons and some drawbacks of this practice. To begin with, many masses are in the favour of working for themselves due to some reasons. First of all, it helps them to be self-dependent and out of subordinate person. Moreover, people do not like to do work under companies' rules which are annoying them. Similarly, self-employed people can do their professional tasks with their own style and comfort. Secondly, today, there is a shortage of job around the world, but doing work on their own level people can eliminate this problem of job scarcity. Furthermore, self employment also enables people to spend quality of time with their family and friends, that may not be possible at the time of doing job for other organisation, because of these reasons personal business has become first priority of an individual. On the other hand, in personal business, workers have risk to lose their money. As they have to face a lot of problems on their own. For example, if they run a company, then they will have to provide adequate finance and management system for the company, that cannot be done by one single person. However, in the company, all important aspects managed by expert employees, that thing further contributes in future for prosperity of the company. Adding to this, a person works under some rules and regulation in the organisation, that is a really necessary to make a company successful, but in personal business there are no such type of rules to be followed. Therefore, self employment seems risky sometimes. In conclusion, no-doubt there are several advantages of self employment such as, intention to away from the control of others, good chance for better life. While self-employed workers face several problems such as risk of breaking down business.
Over past few years, self-employment has become the
first
preference of most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they consider it a better option
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of this practice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
masses are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of working for themselves due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be self-dependent and out of subordinate person.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under
Possible spelling mistake found.
companies&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which are annoying them.
Similarly
, self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do their professional tasks with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
style and comfort.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there is a shortage of job around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can eliminate this problem of job scarcity.
Furthermore
, self employment
also
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend quality of time with their family and friends, that may not be possible at the time of doing job for other
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these reasons personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has become
first
priority of an individual.

On the other hand
, in personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, workers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to lose their money.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, if they run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, then they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide adequate finance and management system for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, that cannot
be done
by one single person.
However
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects managed by expert employees, that thing
further
contributes in future for prosperity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Adding to this, a person works under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
,
that is
a
really
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
successful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
there are no such type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
be followed
.
Therefore
, self employment seems risky
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

In conclusion
, no-doubt there are several advantages of self employment such as, intention to away from the control of others,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance for better life. While self-employed workers face several problems such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of breaking down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people use to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation why might this be cause? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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