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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When choosing a job, it is more important to like the job than to make a certain amount of money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.639

When choosing a job, it is more important to like the job than to make a certain amount of money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 639
when a person is on the verge of choosing a career, he mostly relies on his inner belief. The voice from within guides him to take career of his choice. personally, I feel that choosing a profession which one likes is the best choice one can make. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, a work performed with interest always results in success and the person who is working for the job is not tired by doing it. if a person gets his desired job he can incessantly get involved with it without getting bored. For example, two years ago when I passed my school I was in a similar dilemma to choose money or my hobby. Accordingly, I ended up choosing my hobby and took admit in computer science course. Due to my love towards computer I never felt that the course was hard or the assignments we are getting is making us tired. Instead, I enjoyed a lot doing my projects and do my best in submitting it on time. moreover, my love towards the subject actually helped in making me the renowned student in the eyes of the professors who taught me. if I had not taken my course in which I my interest was, I would have not been able to strive in the computer science field for so long. Secondly, working in your interested field always motivates a person to learn more about that specific field. if a person is working in his desired profession he will have the hunger to learn more so that he can master that field and become a pundit. my personal experience is a compelling example of this. After my graduation from the college I got employed in the company. There I find out that my college curriculum is way behind what the industry is using in real world. Since, I have love towards technology I decided to learn all the new softwares by which I can cope up with the pace of the real world. moreover, during the learning process if I ever felt that a topic is difficult then my predilection always helped me in making me persist to work hard and gain the knowledge. Therefore, I feel that working in a chosen field is necessary for advancement in career. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that a person should always go for the job which he likes. this is because it will help him to bear all the pressure of work and not feel enervated and because it will also help to keep hunger of learning inside him awake, which is imperative for advancement in career.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is on the verge of choosing a career, he
mostly
relies on his inner belief. The voice from within guides him to take career of his choice.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that choosing a profession which one likes is the best choice one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a work performed with interest always results in success and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the job is not tired by doing it. if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
his desired job he can
incessantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved with it without getting bored.
For example
, two years ago when I passed my school I was in a similar dilemma to choose money or my hobby.
Accordingly
, I ended up choosing my hobby and took admit in computer science course. Due to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards computer I never felt that the course was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
or the assignments we are getting is making us tired.
Instead
, I enjoyed
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of doing"?
a lot doing
my projects and do my best in submitting it on time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards the subject actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in making me the renowned student in the eyes of the professors who taught me. if I had not taken my course in which I my interest was, I would have not been able to strive in the computer science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in your interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
always motivates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to learn more about that specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in his desired profession he will have the hunger to learn more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can master that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and become a pundit.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
personal experience is a compelling example of this.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
my graduation from the college I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employed in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. There I find out that my college curriculum is way behind what the industry is using in real world.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards technology I decided to learn all the new
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
by which I can cope up with the pace of the real world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, during the learning process if I ever felt that a topic is difficult then my predilection always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in making me persist to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and gain the knowledge.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is necessary for advancement in career.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should always go for the job which he likes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to bear all the pressure of work and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
enervated and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
hunger of learning inside him awake, which is imperative for advancement in career.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay When choosing a job, it is more important to like the job than to make a certain amount of money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 639

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
451 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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