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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Government should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economy. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.612

Government should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economy. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 612
There is some disagreement over whether investment of government on environmental protection is more important than on economy. Of course, few would say that a country’s healthy environment circumstance plays a vital role in providing its people with high quality of living standard and it is necessary to their lives. From my view, however, only emphasizing the priority of the investment on environmental protection, the speaker ignores economic concerns of a country, which is an essential qualification to improve and keep the environment. To begin, it is undeniable that without continuously supports of government, it would be a useless investment of government’s budget in protecting environmental condition. When it comes to a government that has poor and unstable economy, even though, the government uses its money to solve an environmental problem in its country, this financial support cannot be continuous, further it cannot have any influence on the problem. For instance, the Korean government when its economy was not stable, the government invested lots of its finance on the environmental problems of the Han River’s circumstances. However, it could continue only few months, the problems were not solved but also there was no change in the circumstances. This implies that focusing on government’s budget on the environmental problems does not have a positive influence on the problems without consideration of its economy. Furthermore, the limitation of the concept that financial aims of government should be concentrate on environmental concerns than on economy, can be found in terms of the importance of economy on success of environmental protection. It is not difficult to observe that a government with several serious problems in its economy, its efforts on the environmental problems cannot make desirable results because the poor economy condition prevents its citizens from having environmental awareness. According to a study conducted by researchers of a team at Harvard University, they found a fact that more people with healthy economic condition tend to have well-developed environmental consciousness. The study also revealed that government’s investment on environmental concerns is more possible to be successful with the people. This example shows that government cannot ignore the importance of economy because it is necessary factor for protecting the environment. To sum, despite of the importance of the environmental problems, both the role of government financial supports and the citizens’ environmental consciousness with healthy economic conditions, tell us that government’s investment on economy is more important than on environmental protection.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
Of course
, few would say that a country’s healthy environment circumstance plays a vital role in providing its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with high quality of living standard and it is necessary to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. From my view,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
emphasizing the priority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
, the speaker
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
economic concerns of a country, which is an essential qualification to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it is undeniable that without
continuously
supports of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, it would be a useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
budget in protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
that has poor and unstable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
,
even though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
its money to solve an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in its country, this financial support cannot be continuous,
further
it cannot have any influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For instance
, the Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
when its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
was not stable, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
invested lots of its finance on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of the Han River’s circumstances.
However
, it could continue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few months, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
were not solved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the circumstances.
This implies that
focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
budget on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
does not have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
without consideration of its economy.

Furthermore
, the limitation of the concept that financial aims of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concerns than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, can
be found
in terms of the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
on success of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
. It is not difficult to observe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
with several serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, its efforts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
desirable results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
its citizens from having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
awareness. According to a study conducted by researchers of a team at Harvard University, they found a fact that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with healthy economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
tend to have well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
consciousness. The study
also
revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concerns is more possible to be successful with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is necessary factor for protecting the environment.

To sum,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, both the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financial supports and the citizens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
consciousness with healthy economic conditions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Government should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economy. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 612

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
404 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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