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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All school teachers should be required to attend courses every 5 years to update their knowledge. v.588

All school teachers should be required to attend courses every 5 years to update their knowledge. v. 588
There is no doubt that school teachers play an important rule in knowledge of students. In order to gaining the maximal knowledge of students, the teachers have to a sufficient knowledge. I agree with the statement which states that all school teachers should be required to attend courses every five years to update their knowledge. First of all, It is not only the world keeps moving, but information also changing. If we do not keep updating knowledge, we will be behind on whatever we are interested in. For example, when I was in high school. My biology teacher had to attend the Thailand’s biology conference every two years. After she got back from the conference, she had to presents what she learned. Needless to say, everyone was so surprised how new discovery of science has dramatically changes over time. Therefore, updating school teacher’s knowledge should be one part of teaching strategies. In addition, keeping track of knowledge of school teachers is significantly important, in order to optimize teaching’s efficiency. Overtime of teaching, patterns of teaching possibly change and reduces the proficiency of teaching. For instance, my mom was a Thai language teacher. She had to participate a Thai teaching seminar occasionally. She told me that she could not ignore the seminar because it helped her to improve her teaching strategies and maintain the ways of teaching to be in the right pattern. In conclusion, I support that the school teachers should update their knowledge at least every five years because information of everything has updated overtime and maintaining the right teaching strategies affects to a performance of teaching. I would say, “ nothing to lose for gaining knowledge. ”
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of students. In order to
Did you mean "gain"?
gaining
the maximal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of students, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
a sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement which states that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
be required
to attend courses every five years to update their knowledge.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
moving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
information
also
changing. If we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
updating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, we will be behind on whatever we
are interested
in.
For example
, when I was in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. My biology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
had to attend the Thailand’s biology conference every two years. After she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
back from the conference, she had to presents what she learned. Needless to say, everyone was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
surprised how new discovery of science has
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over time.
Therefore
, updating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
should be one part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
strategies.

In addition
, keeping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, in order to optimize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching’s
efficiency. Overtime of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
, patterns of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the proficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
.
For instance
, my mom was a Thai language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. She had to participate a Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
seminar
occasionally
. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that she could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the seminar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
strategies and maintain the ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
to be in the right pattern.

In conclusion
, I support that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should update their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
at least every five years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
information of everything has updated overtime and maintaining the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
strategies affects to a performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
. I would say,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
nothing to lose for gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. ”
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay All school teachers should be required to attend courses every 5 years to update their knowledge. v. 588

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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