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TPO-20 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
In order to success one should embrace the off-beat path. Those who are successful usually develop new ideas and undertaken experiments instead of opting for the tried and tested option. In my opinion I completely support the claim that venturing into untested water results in favorable outcomes as they break free from the monotony and opens the mind to limitless possibilities. To begin with firstly, performing the same task repetitively makes it mundane and consequently result in a mind block. Conversely, if one is placed in an environment that changes rapidly, their mind is constantly alert. Secondly, monotony restricts the mind to create an alternate solution as one is so habitual to the nature of the work that they are unable fathom a different method. For example, many youngsters leave their desk jobs, since they find it very predictable and start a business. Once out in the business world, they don' t have to constantly perform the same task and have to continuously raise the bar in order to sustain themselves. Although there are some initial hiccups, many taste success. Moreover, undertaking risks displays confidence and ability to trusts one' s instinct. There is no looking back and it opens the door to various permutations and combinations. Even though success may not be guaranteed, many accomplished people have proved that using unconventional strategies rather than the regular one' s inevitably gives you the desired results. For example, Mr. Ratan Tata was one of the first to enter in the hospitality industry in India even though he was advised against it as it was presumed to be a loss making sector. However, now the Taj hotel chains are world famous and synonymous with 5 star facilities. Therefore, adopting an untried route gives way to a vast ocean of possibilities. To conclude, successful people try out new things and take risks to challenge themselves and get ways from their similar tasks.
In order to success one should embrace the off-beat path. Those who are successful
usually
develop new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and undertaken experiments
instead
of opting for the tried and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
option. In my opinion I completely support the claim that venturing into untested water results in favorable outcomes as they break free from the monotony and opens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
to limitless possibilities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
firstly
, performing the same task
repetitively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it mundane and
consequently
result in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
block.
Conversely
, if one
is placed
in an environment that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
rapidly
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
is
constantly
alert.
Secondly
, monotony restricts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
to create an alternate solution as one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
habitual to the nature of the work that they are
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'fathom'.
unable fathom
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
method.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their desk jobs, since they find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
predictable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business. Once out in the business world, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
constantly
perform the same task and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
continuously
raise the bar in order to sustain themselves. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initial hiccups,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
taste success.

Moreover
, undertaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
displays confidence and ability to trusts
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s instinct. There is no looking back and it opens the door to various permutations and combinations.
Even though
success may not
be guaranteed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
accomplished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have proved that using unconventional strategies
rather
than the regular
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
inevitably
gives you the desired results.
For example
, Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ratan
Tata was one of the
first
to
There isn't usually a preposition after "enter". Did you mean "enter the hospitality"?
enter in the hospitality
industry in India
even though
he
was advised
against it as it
was presumed
to be a loss making sector.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Taj
hotel chains are world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and synonymous with
'5 star' is missing a hyphen.
5 star
facilities.
Therefore
, adopting an untried route gives way to a vast ocean of possibilities.

To conclude
, successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try out new things and take
The verb 'risks' is used with the gerund form: "risks challenging".
risks to challenge
themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ways from their similar tasks.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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