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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All school teachers should be required to attend courses every 5 years to update their knowledge. v.159

All school teachers should be required to attend courses every 5 years to update their knowledge. v. 159
The number of people following vegetarian food is becoming more and more common in certain nations. This essay thinks that the benefits of following vegetarian diets outweighs the drawbacks because, although many people may not enjoy some specific types of meals, it prevents them from falling sick. The main disadvantage is that people will not enjoy foods like burgers, meat and pizza due to the increase in people following vegetarian diets. This is because they would have to adhere to some restrictions on their eating habits and also avoid eating fatty foods. For example, the Daily Health Magazine in Ghana reported in 2019 that, there was an increase in people following strict rules from their dieticians on their diets and this prevented them from eating fatty foods. But this essay would argue that the majority of people who tend to follow vegetarian meals once in a while eat pizza. However, there are some who believe that a lot of people adhering to vegan foods like vegetables, grains and fruits makes them healthy. One reason is that, they believe eating these foods prevents unwanted sicknesses which helps to keep their bodies fit. For example, the District hospital in Kenya recorded a 2% decrease in kidney failure and heart disease between 2018 and 2019. This was because a lot of people were on vegetarian diets which helped to improve their health. Therefore, it is obvious that without these vegetarian diets, health issues will increase among people. In conclusion, although it is unfortunate people cannot enjoy certain types of meals they want to eat because they are vegetarians, it prevents them from unwanted illness and that is the only thing that keeps them healthy.
The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is becoming more and more common in certain nations. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
vegetarian diets outweighs the drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific types of meals, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from falling sick.

The main disadvantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like burgers, meat and pizza due to the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
vegetarian diets. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adhere to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits and
also
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
For example
, the Daily Health Magazine in Ghana reported in 2019 that, there was an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
dieticians
on their diets and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this essay would argue that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to follow vegetarian meals once in a while eat pizza.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adhering to vegan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like vegetables, grains and fruits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them healthy. One reason is that, they believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
unwanted sicknesses which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their bodies fit.
For example
, the District hospital in Kenya recorded a 2% decrease in kidney failure and heart disease between 2018 and 2019. This was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were on vegetarian diets which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.
Therefore
, it is obvious that without these vegetarian diets, health issues will increase among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, although it is unfortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot enjoy certain types of meals they want to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are vegetarians, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from unwanted illness and
that is
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them healthy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay All school teachers should be required to attend courses every 5 years to update their knowledge. v. 159

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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