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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently. v.587

Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently. v. 587
In order to increase ability of learning, children have to practice on their tasks. The children have to interpret problems and figure out the answers. Some people believe that parents should give them a hand to do their works. In my opinion, however, parents should only encourage them to do their work independently. First of all, I personally believe that the best way of learning is seeking for answers by myself. Children are able to create thinking’s strategies and memorize the knowledge when they work independently. For instance, when I was nine years old. My dad bought me a colorful English-Mathematics computer games. Instead of telling me answers of the games, he left me with the computer games. Of course, I had a hard time on solving problems at first try. After striving a couple times, I was able to memorize all English vocabularies and learned how to discover the Mathematics problems. In fact, I am glad that my dad taught me to learn independently because the ability of solving problems is one part of my success. In addition, many people find obtaining answers of questions easily is less challenged and it leads boredom. When parents help children to work on their task, the children feel obligated to do their work, they have to do because their parents ask them to do. Therefore, helping them to work on their problems will cause the children bored and deprive an enthusiastic feeling of educating of the children. For example, in every evening, my friend asked his son to do his homework and always helped his son to find out the answers of questions. Needless to say, his son denied doing his homework because he felt like he had to do because of his father’s order. In contrast, later on, my friend gave up on helping him to do his homework, and let him do it by his own. Surprisingly, his son found that working on solving problems was fun and challenged. In conclusion, I would encourage parents to rather let their children to work on his tasks than help them because solving problem independently is the best way of learning and it challenges the children to do. Sometime, it is good to let children fall because they will learn how to get up effectively.
In order to increase ability of learning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
practice on their tasks. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interpret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and figure out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
answers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give them a hand to do their works. In my opinion,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
encourage them to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I
personally
believe that the best way of learning is seeking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
answers
by myself.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are able to create thinking’s strategies and memorize the knowledge when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
.
For instance
, when I was nine years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. My dad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
me a colorful English-Mathematics computer games.
Instead
of telling me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
answers
of the games, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
me with the computer games.
Of course
, I had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
at
first
try. After striving a
Did you mean "couple of"? (In formal written English 'of' should follow 'couple'.)
couple
times, I was able to memorize all English vocabularies and learned how to discover the Mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In fact, I am glad that my dad taught me to learn
independently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is one part of my success.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find obtaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
answers
of questions
easily
is less challenged and it leads boredom. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their task, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel obligated to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ask them to do.
Therefore
, helping them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
bored and deprive an enthusiastic feeling of educating of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, in every evening, my friend asked his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
to do his homework and always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
to find out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
answers
of questions. Needless to say, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
denied doing his homework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he felt like he had to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his father’s order.
In contrast
, later on, my friend gave up on helping him to do his homework, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him do it by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Surprisingly
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
found that working on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
was fun and challenged.

In conclusion
, I would encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on his tasks than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
independently
is the best way of learning and it challenges the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do. Sometime, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up
effectively
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently. v. 587

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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