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Do you agree or disagree? Rather than help children with their schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do their work independently. v.86

Rather than help children with their schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do their work independently. v. 86
Human relations is the key to innovative ideas and developments. Everyone is dependent on every other one. Inventors and doctors have given their participation to serve the nation. I believe that both are equally important to society. This essay will discuss first, the importance of inventors and then the doctors to society. To begin with the inventors, since the 19th century till now, the inventor has given heights in every manner. Firstly, the invention of telephones, which makes life easier for society because people can communicate with each other even if they are miles apart. Secondly, the invention of transportation like buses, trains, aeroplanes and many more. Travelling has become so convenient. Most importantly, the invention of computers is the major change in terms of development. Everything is available on the internet, the news, weather, maps, study material, online shopping and so on. Hence, the inventors have given life to the world. On the other hand, the doctors are a life saviour. Whenever people feel unwilling, they need someone who can find out the causing issue. The doctors do the hard practice for so many years and develop their life-saving skills before applying to patients who seek their help. Due to the development of new medicines, the cure for every problem has become possible. The doctors are full time available for the patient. They consider their hospital, clinic as a home and treat their patients like a family. To conclude, the inventors and doctors are both equally important for the nation. Inventors develop equipment for medical use so that doctors can give their best to save the world. Also, even if the inventors fall sick, they need a doctor to make them feel good.
Human relations is the key to innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and developments. Everyone is dependent on every other one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Inventors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their participation to serve the nation. I believe that both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to society. This essay will discuss
first
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
and then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
to society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
, since the 19th century till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventor
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
heights in every manner.
Firstly
, the invention of telephones, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easier for society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can communicate with each other even if they are miles apart.
Secondly
, the invention of transportation like buses, trains,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Travelling has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient. Most
importantly
, the invention of computers is the major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in terms of development. Everything is available on the internet, the news, weather, maps, study material, online shopping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
life to the world.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are a life
Possible spelling mistake found.
saviour
. Whenever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel unwilling, they need someone who can find out the causing issue. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
do the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
practice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and develop their life-saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying to patients who seek their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Due to the development of new medicines, the cure for every problem has become possible. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are full time available for the patient. They consider their hospital, clinic as a home and treat their patients like a family.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are both
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Inventors
develop equipment for medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
can give their best to save the world.
Also
, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
fall sick, they need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Rather than help children with their schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do their work independently. v. 86

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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