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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Two people can still become good friends if one of them has more money than the other one does. v.583

Two people can still become good friends if one of them has more money than the other one does. v. 583
Friendships require works. They do not just materialize and maintain themselves and they are not built on a foundation of convenience, either. They take time, patience and two people who are willing to put in the efforts. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether having money could destroy the friendship between friends. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that not only can money help friendships lasting but also can help improve the circle of our friendships. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework. To commence with, our friends are the inseparable part of our lives owing to the fact that we spend most of our precious time with our friends. Generally phrased, a plethora of people are willing to witness their friends' success and they may help them to reach their goals as soon as possible. Arguably, if a friend gain a substantial amount of budget, there is a possibility that other friends benefit from this achievement. As a palpable example, last year I wanted to run my own business and I was on a tight budget without any money. So, I asked help from one of my close friends who accumulated a hoard of money to help me run a prosperous business. Not only he contributed greatly and borrowed some money but also our friendship becomes stronger because I engaged him in my business. To elucidate more on this issue, if a friend gains a vast sum of money, it could have mutual benefits for friends thanks to the fact that money is not the whole thing in the life. Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that money could help us distinguish whether our friends are real friends or not. If we take a minute to ponder over it, vast majorities of people continue their friendships in order to gain something beneficial. For instance, a friend of mine used to spend his time in solitude without any friends because no one was interested in spending his time with him. After a while when he achieved a hoard of money, many people changed their ideas and selected him as their best friend. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that money can provide an opportunity for people to know their real friends and avoid a spurious friendship. However, every coin has two sides. Myriads of people who are wealthy are inclined toward the opinion that when they have money and fortune, they should leave their old friends because they have no money to spend. In this case, money could have deleterious effects on our friendships. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friendships
require works. They do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
materialize and maintain
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves and
they are not built on a foundation of convenience, either. They take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, patience and two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are willing to put in the efforts. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
lasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the circle of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework.

To commence with, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are the inseparable part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
owing to the fact that we spend most of our precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Generally
phrased, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to witness their
Possible spelling mistake found.
friends&
#039;
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
success and
they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to reach their goals as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
Arguably
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
gain a substantial amount of budget, there is a possibility that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
benefit from this achievement. As a palpable example, last year I wanted to run my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and I was on a tight budget without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I asked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from one of my close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who accumulated a hoard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me run a prosperous business. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
he contributed
greatly
and borrowed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
becomes stronger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I engaged him in my business. To elucidate more on this issue, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
gains a vast sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it could have mutual benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
thanks to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the whole thing in the life.

Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us distinguish whether our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or not. If we take a minute to ponder over it, vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
in order to gain something beneficial.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
of mine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in solitude without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one
was interested
in spending his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with him. After a while when he achieved a hoard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and selected him as their best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know their real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and avoid a spurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
.
However
, every coin has two sides. Myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are wealthy
are inclined
toward the opinion that when they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and fortune, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could have deleterious effects on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Two people can still become good friends if one of them has more money than the other one does. v. 583

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
499 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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