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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should not have to work or help with household tasks; their only responsibility should be to study. v.566

Children should not have to work or help with household tasks; their only responsibility should be to study. v. 566
Children are engaged in different responsibilities both in house and school, and some people believe that they should just be focused on their school duties. Although the most important activity of children would be studying, the essential skills gained by taking responsibilities in home activities should not be disregarded. The following essay would support this point of view. Obviously, children ought to be more concentrated on their studying rather than helping in household tasks. First, due to their age and both mental and physical abilities, expecting them to work in house would not be sensible. In other words, they are immature to take critical responsibilities such as taking care of their younger siblings. Second, studying provides the opportunity for them to meet their desires and curiosity for learning. Therefore, due to the fact that satisfying this fundamental demand can have a great effect on their characteristics studying must be highly important. However, there are some important benefits for children when they help their parents in some easy but instructive household works. One reason is that they learn to take responsibility and be committed to fulfill which is a key skill for their future life. For instance, when they are required to clean their room until a specific time, they learn how to manage and handle a responsibility besides doing their homework. Another reason is that conducting a household duty not only brings them happiness and satisfaction but also helps them to have the sense of self confidence. For example, while children are praised due to their attempt and perseverance, they feel effective and believe in their abilities. In conclusion, besides the essence of studying to be in children’s first priority, it should be considered that doing some achievable house activities would definitely be helpful for their future careers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
both in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and school, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be focused
on their school duties. Although the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, the essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
gained by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
in home activities should not
be disregarded
. The following essay would support this point of view.

Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to be more concentrated on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
rather
than helping in household tasks.
First
, due to their age and both mental and physical abilities, expecting them to work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
would not be sensible.
In other words
, they are immature to take critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
such as taking care of their younger siblings. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
provides the opportunity for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their desires and curiosity for learning.
Therefore
, due to the fact that satisfying this fundamental demand can have a great effect on their characteristics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instructive household works. One reason is that they learn to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
and
be committed
to fulfill which is a key
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for their future life.
For instance
, when they
are required
to clean their room until a specific time, they learn how to manage and handle a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
besides
doing their homework. Another reason is that conducting a household duty not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings them happiness and satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have the sense of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
.
For example
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are praised
due to their attempt and perseverance, they feel effective and believe in their abilities.

In conclusion
,
besides
the essence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
first
priority, it should
be considered
that doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
achievable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
activities would definitely be helpful for their future careers.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Children should not have to work or help with household tasks; their only responsibility should be to study. v. 566

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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