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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the modern world, we should never be impolite to another person. v.526

In the modern world, we should never be impolite to another person. v. 526
There is no denying the fact that living in modern societies has some requirements. Some people hold the idea that being polite to others is one of the undeniable ones, while others do not put that much value for it. For me, the former opinion carries more weight. I believe that we should never be impolite to others. The foremost reason why I am supporting this idea lies in the fact that polite manner brings social comfort. Imagine a society in which everyone has respect for other members. For example, whenever a student want something from his/her teacher or parents he/she use the word “please”. Or in a work environment, a worker respect other employees and customers. In this kind of societies everyone feels graceful, and people will live in peace. Therefore, being polite will improve quality of life and happiness in society. In another hand, being polite has benefits for the individual too. Behaving in a polite manner will makes it easier to get what we want from others. A research conducted by a group of researchers in Harvard university shows that people are more willing to help others when there are asked in a respectful way. Researchers say that this is probably because human kind like to be respected. Showing respect encourage them to help the needy one. Therefore, if we want to get what we need from others, and improve our lives we should be polite. Overall, due to the aforementioned arguments explored in the previous statements, I am of the opinion that being polite is one of the most important requirements of living in modern societies. Since it would improve the society peacefulness, and it would be beneficial for the individual too.
There is no denying the fact that living in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
requirements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polite
to others is one of the undeniable ones, while others do not put that much value for it. For me, the former opinion carries more weight. I believe that we should never be impolite to others.

The foremost reason why I am supporting this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
lies in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polite
manner brings social comfort. Imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in which everyone has respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members.
For example
, whenever a student want something from his/her teacher or parents he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the word “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
”. Or in a work environment, a worker respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
employees and customers. In this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
everyone feels graceful, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in peace.
Therefore
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polite
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of life and happiness in society.

In another hand, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polite
has benefits for the individual too. Behaving in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polite
manner will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what we want from others.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
conducted by a group of researchers in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others when there
are asked
Consider replacing "in a respectful way" with the adverb for "respectful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a respectful way
. Researchers say that this is
probably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human kind like to
be respected
. Showing respect encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the needy one.
Therefore
, if we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what we need from others, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
we should be polite.

Overall
, due to the aforementioned arguments explored in the previous statements, I am of the opinion that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polite
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
requirements of living in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
. Since it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
peacefulness, and it would be beneficial for the individual too.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In the modern world, we should never be impolite to another person. v. 526

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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