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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important way to improve people’s health is to clean the environment. v.524

The most important way to improve people’s health is to clean the environment. v. 524
Throughout history, health has played a prominent role in all societies. Because it is a paramount importance, scientists have always searched ways for enhancing the health of humans. A controversial question which is often raised this idea is whether the best ways to provoke human' s health is having a clean environment or not. I personally contend that having the clean environment is not adequate ways for enhancing the people health; therefore, I disagree with this proposal. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons. The first paramount factor to be mentioned is that doing regular sports have more influence on people' s health rather than having a clean environment. To elaborate on my point, researchers believe that sport has a strong influence on the human' s body. When people do exercise every day, they can reduce their stress. Because their body releases morphine during exercise. Therefore, humans would reduce their stress; hence, they may prevent become a depression person. In addition, individuals can prevent some arduous diseases such as heart attack, cancer, blood pressure, and many other similar diseases. On the other hand, the cleaning environment only prevents a few diseases such as respiratory disease. Hence, doing regular sports can better improve human' s health rather than clean environments. Another reason which deserves some worlds here is that eating organic and fresh food is more effective ways than the clean environment. To shed more light on this matter, the most chronic diseases such as concert stem from junk and unhealthy food. The most grains and vegetables are cultivated by toxic materials and dirty water; therefore, they can cause some diseases in the human' s body. Also, if individuals eat organic materials like fresh vegetables and fruits, they may prevent some harsh diseases. Considering the previous generation for instance. In the past, people cultivated all essential materials like vegetables, fruit, rice, potatoes, and many other similar items by themselves; hence, they ate healthy foods. Furthermore, they brought up their own sheep and cows, and they consumed fresh and healthy meats and milk. In other words, we hardly see some people who lived in the previous generation had a chronic disease. To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that only have a clean environment is not an adequate way for improving human' s health. I believe that both doing regular exercise and eating healthy food is more effective ways than cleaning the environment for provoking one' s healthy.
Throughout history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has played a prominent role in all societies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is a paramount importance, scientists have always searched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. A controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is whether the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to provoke
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
or not. I
personally
contend that having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is not adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
;
therefore
, I disagree with this proposal. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.

The
first
paramount factor to
be mentioned
is that doing regular sports have more influence on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
rather
than having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. To elaborate on my point, researchers believe that sport has a strong influence on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s body. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do exercise every day, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
their body releases morphine during exercise.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
;
hence
, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
become a depression person.
In addition
, individuals can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arduous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as heart attack, cancer, blood pressure, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the cleaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevents
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
Hence
, doing regular sports can better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
environments.

Another reason which deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worlds here is that eating organic and fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. To shed more light on this matter, the most chronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as concert stem from junk and unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The most grains and vegetables
are cultivated
by toxic materials and dirty water;
therefore
, they can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s body.
Also
, if individuals eat organic materials like fresh vegetables and fruits, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. Considering the previous generation
for instance
. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cultivated all essential materials like vegetables, fruit, rice, potatoes, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
similar items by themselves;
hence
, they ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Furthermore
, they brought up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sheep and cows, and they consumed fresh and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meats and milk. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, we hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the previous generation had a chronic disease.

To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is not an adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
for improving
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. I believe that both doing regular exercise and eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
than cleaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for provoking
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The most important way to improve people’s health is to clean the environment. v. 524

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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