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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success v.493

To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success v. 493
There is no doubt that trying to reach the goals plays the predominant role in every one' s life. People may show the variaty of the emotions and feeling when they reach their target or not. A debating question is raised related to the issue is that how much important is being happy in these situations? Some people may hold the viewpoint that being happy is very important when one person fall on the ground. However, others watch this issue from the opposite lens and believe that being happy belongs the achieving goals. In my perspective, the first belief is true. I what follows, I will pinpoint some of outstanding reasons. One of the most important reason coming mind related to the statement is that it can boost selfconfidence. When one perons make the mistake or has some flows in his way and consequently, he is not able to give his target in his hands, he will be disappointed. Being happy in this adverse condistion helps him to sit up again with more energy and more enthusiasm to reach the goals. For example, one of my friends, he always have a smile on his libs in every time, even in drastic situation. Two years ago, both of us want to be accepted in one of the most prestigous university, but he could not. Although it was a big defeat for him, he was able to compensate this fault in the next year. He said to me, without having good sense about future and being happy, nothing can be achievable. Furthermore, the equally important reason supported my idea is from the psychological stand point. The group of the people who are more happy than others, specially in bad situations, they can demonstrate more eager to counterbalance the situation and be success. This means that when one person fails in his way to achieving his targets, if he has a genuine interest in being success and making up his failure, he should show it to himself and pretend himself he can. Take Isac Edison, as an example. He was one the most withstanding person in the world history. He succeeded to bring the light into his home after more than thousant failures. He has a smile on his face and said, always after when he failed, " this failure can be the start for all person, personally for me" . So, being happy and pessimestic is more important when one fails. The last but not the least reason is that if one person is happy after his failures, this means that he has a very vigrous personality. Therefore, he can frighten his competitors by this feature. An empirical test, conducted in west Asia, obviously depicts this fact that more than 80 pecents of people who suceed after failures are more optimistic person than others. This clarify the fact that, if one laghs after failure and thinks how he can compensate this faults, this can give him the more enrgy. In addition to this his competitors may show his action and find his strong personality. So, he can be more success. From what has been mentioned above, we can safely reach the conclusion that being happy and optimestic is one of the most important things after one' s failure. It is hard to disquise the fact that more people believe that just the winner has the being happy right. Despite of this fact, having smile on lips and being happy have profound influence on being success after failure. All in all. it is anticipated that people will consider to the above statement more and more if they want to achieve their goals after they fail.
There is no doubt that trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
plays the predominant role in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
variaty
of the emotions and feeling when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
their target or not. A debating question
is raised
related to the issue is that how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
is being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold the viewpoint that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
when one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
fall on the ground.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
this issue from the opposite lens and believe that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
belongs the achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
. In my perspective, the
first
belief is true. I what follows, I will pinpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of outstanding reasons.

One of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
reason coming mind related to the statement is that it can boost
Possible spelling mistake found.
selfconfidence
. When one
Possible spelling mistake found.
perons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the mistake or has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flows in his way and
consequently
, he is not able to give his target in his hands, he will
be disappointed
. Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in this adverse
Possible spelling mistake found.
condistion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to sit up again with more energy and more enthusiasm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
For example
, one of my friends, he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
a smile on his
Possible spelling mistake found.
libs
in every time, even in drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. Two years ago, both of us want to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in one of the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
prestigous
university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he could not. Although it was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
defeat for him, he was able to compensate this fault in the
next
year. He said to me, without having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense about future and being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, nothing can be achievable.

Furthermore
, the
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
reason supported my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is from the psychological stand point. The group of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
than others,
specially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, they can demonstrate more eager to counterbalance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and be success. This means that when one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
fails in his way to achieving his targets, if he has a genuine interest in being success and making up his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
, he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it to himself and pretend himself he can. Take
Possible spelling mistake found.
Isac
Edison, as an example. He was
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the most withstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in the world history. He succeeded to bring the light into his home after more than
Possible spelling mistake found.
thousant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failures
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
has a smile on his face and said, always after when he failed,
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
can be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
,
personally
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
me&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pessimestic
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
when one fails.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least reason is that if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
after his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failures
, this means that he has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
vigrous
personality.
Therefore
, he can frighten his competitors by this feature. An empirical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, conducted in west Asia,
obviously
depicts this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that more than 80
Possible spelling mistake found.
pecents
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
suceed
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failures
are more optimistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
than others.
The verb 'clarify' is plural. Did you mean: "This clarifies"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This clarify
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that, if one
Possible spelling mistake found.
laghs
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
how he can compensate this faults, this can give him the more
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrgy
.
In addition
to this his competitors may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
his action and find his strong personality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he can be more success.

From what has
been mentioned
above, we can
safely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the conclusion that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
optimestic
is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things after
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
disquise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the winner has the being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
right.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, having smile on lips and being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
have profound influence on being success after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
failure
. All in all.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is anticipated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consider to the above statement more and more if they want to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
after they fail.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes

IELTS essay To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success v. 493

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
612 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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