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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In any society, the contributions of scientists and engineers are more important than the contributions of artists and writers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.435

In any society, the contributions of scientists and engineers are more important than the contributions of artists and writers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 435
That the contributions of scientists and engineers are more vital than that of artists and writers is an undeniable fact. We live in the age of technology and the effects of advances in science and technology is plain for everyone. Although some individuals might counter the statement, I support it based on the following significant reasons. First and foremost, thanks to discoveries and hard work of scientists and engineers, our lifestyle has been improved significantly especially in the last century. Life is more convenient and delightful today in comparison to how it was in the past. No matter in what society people live, every person desires a superior life full of happiness and satisfaction. The veracity of this claim can be evaluated through a meticulous observation on the body of examples; the computers made doing many tasks easier and faster. Owing to automobiles, transportation and travelling is more convenient today. The internet provides us with various sources of information. In summary, all societies can benefit from the achievements of scientists and engineers. Second, due to progress in health and medical sciences, many lives can be saved. Today, the scientists can treat many disease that were fatal before using new treatment methods, new drugs, and new instruments such as robots. People today live longer and this is a great sign of hope for the human race. Moreover, since individuals are more aware of their health, it would benefit the next generations too. Parents, in any society, can teach their children to do exercises regularly to maintain a healthy and strong body. Children can be encouraged to adopt a healthy diet rather than eating fast foods and unhealthy foods. Hence, scientists and engineers assist people considerably. Last but not least, engineers and scientists can save our planet by solving the environmental problems. Countless researchers are focused in finding a peaceful solution to our current issues such as global warming, energy crisis, and groundwater contamination. A number of them are searching for another planet like earth, which might be suitable for living in the future. This is entirely heroic and courageous, since they not only care about current people, but also consider the benefits of next generations. All in all, although some sophisticated people may prove that artists and writers have a more important effect in our life by bringing joy and entertainment to our life, I still approve the statement and assert that scientists and engineers, based on the reasons mentioned in the body paragraphs, contribute to our life more than anyone else does.
That the contributions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
are more vital than that of artists and writers is an undeniable fact. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the age of technology and the effects of advances in science and technology is plain for everyone. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals might counter the statement, I support it based on the following significant reasons.

First
and foremost, thanks to discoveries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
, our lifestyle has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
especially
in the last century.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is more convenient and delightful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
in comparison
to how it was in the past. No matter in what society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, every person desires a superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
full of happiness and satisfaction. The veracity of this claim can
be evaluated
through a meticulous observation on the body of examples; the computers made doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks easier and faster. Owing to automobiles, transportation and travelling is more convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. The internet provides us with various sources of information. In summary, all societies can benefit from the achievements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and engineers.

Second, due to progress in health and medical sciences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
can
be saved
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
can treat
Possible agreement error. The noun disease seems to be countable; consider using: "many diseases".
many disease
that were fatal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
using new treatment methods, new drugs, and new instruments such as robots.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer and this is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of hope for the human race.
Moreover
, since individuals are more aware of their health, it would benefit the
next
generations too. Parents, in any society, can teach their children to do exercises
regularly
to maintain a healthy and strong body. Children can
be encouraged
to adopt a healthy diet
rather
than eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods and unhealthy foods.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
considerably
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
can save our planet by solving the environmental problems. Countless researchers
are focused
in finding a peaceful solution to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
issues such as global warming, energy crisis, and groundwater contamination. A number of them are searching for another planet like earth, which might be suitable for living in the future. This is
entirely
heroic and courageous, since they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
consider the benefits of
next
generations.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may prove that artists and writers have a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
effect in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by bringing joy and entertainment to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I
still
approve the statement and assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
, based on the reasons mentioned in the body paragraphs, contribute to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than anyone else does.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay In any society, the contributions of scientists and engineers are more important than the contributions of artists and writers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 435

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
422 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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