Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v.364

It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 364
Young people have some limitation in some districts in cities of America, where they cannot attend unless they have an adult companion. I strongly agree that some areas can be dangerous for the youth and they should not be allowed to expose themselves to danger at any point. In recent years, the crime rate has been increased significantly which has made the streets unsafe at certain hours of the night. To illustrate an example, burglars usually commit the crime at night in order to stay unknown and it cannot be denied that they can be a threat to young ones lives. Thus, some actions must be taken in order to provide children with their safety, one of which is a curfew. While this law would make them limited and would cause inconvenience, I think it works for their own safety and will have more positive effects. In addition to this, adults are more responsible and mature enough to prevent teenagers from taking any careless decisions. Furthermore, if a youth is accompanied by a mature one, the risk of being in danger would be reduced due to the experience that he/she has. Besides, criminals would not take the risk of being caught by a more powerful one, and will avoid any violation. Therefore, adults can help teenagers to have a safer life. To conclude, a curfew has been implemented by legislators in order to ban teenagers from some areas of the US at specific times of the night unless they are accompanied by a mature person. I believe this would provide the youth with safety and reduces the crime rate.
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
districts in cities of America, where they cannot attend unless they have an adult companion. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youth and
they should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to expose themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
at any point.

In recent years, the crime rate has
been increased
significantly
which has made the streets unsafe at certain hours of the night. To illustrate an example, burglars
usually
commit the crime at night in order to stay unknown and it cannot
be denied
that they can be a threat to young ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
in order to provide children with their safety, one of which is a curfew. While this law would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them limited and would cause inconvenience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it works for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
safety and will have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.

In addition
to this, adults are more responsible and mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from taking any careless decisions.
Furthermore
, if a youth
is accompanied
by a mature one, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
due to the experience that he/she has.
Besides
, criminals would not take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being caught
by a more powerful one, and will avoid any violation.
Therefore
, adults can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to have a safer life.

To conclude
, a curfew has
been implemented
by legislators in order to ban
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of the US at specific times of the night unless they
are accompanied
by a mature person. I believe this would provide the youth with safety and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the crime rate.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 364

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts