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TPO 12- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 12- It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Nowadays, the world alters rapidly and all human experience a huge improvement and advancement in the field of science and engineering. Likewise, this swift development causes the advent of new subjects which are all interconnected to each other. In fact, today, we face more of interdisciplinary studies. When it comes to specializing in academic subjects, controversy surrounds the issue of whether it is beneficial to have a broad knowledge of several academic subjects or not? I am of the opinion that people should enhance their knowledge in different subjects and the further explanation will elaborate on this matter. One of the most significant aspects of the ongoing topic which demands a keen contemplation is that if people want to keep pace with the modern technology, they have to master in more than one specific subject. That is to say, as new developments use different science to operate, we have to enhance our perception to realize their usage better. Take my father for instance. He has been working in the IT company as a web developer in the past 10 years. A couple of months ago, their company adopted higher technology to acquire more customers and make more money. However, my dad did not wary of this change and he did not have the ability to perceive advanced and higher appliances. Consequently, he got fired from his work because they were searching for new adept employees whose knowledge were vast enough to adjust for different conditions. Another noteworthy aspect of the topic which needs to be reflected is that companies today are looking for multifaceted people to perform faster. As a matter of fact, all companies and factories compete with each other and perfectly know that a business holder cannot reach to extreme interest rate unless dominates a broad range of information and data. Thus, a versatile employee can help them broaden their notions about different aspects of their work. Moreover, they can facilitate the time which has to be allocated for one work because they have enough knowledge to come up with creative solutions. To illustrate, perhaps my own experience can shed more light on this matter. I am always a person who gets the job just because of my extensive knowledge in fields of mechanics and business. My boss relies on my tips to manage business related problems. Paradoxically, it is impossible to get profound knowledge by mastering in different subjects because as an important saying indicates that every person is born a unique talent to be a profession in some subject. In this regard, nobody is able to be perfect in any scientific fields due to their characteristics. On the basis of the points mentioned above, I am pretty convinced that there are many reasons for supporting the idea of mastering in more than one specific subject because we can keep pace with the new technology and also get better job positions. Meanwhile, it is improbable to get a deep understanding in all subjects because of our limited brain capacity.
Nowadays, the world alters
rapidly
and all human experience a huge improvement and advancement in the field of science and engineering.
Likewise
, this swift development causes the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which are all interconnected to each other. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, we face more of interdisciplinary studies. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to specializing in academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, controversy surrounds the issue of whether it is beneficial to have a broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of several academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
or not? I am of the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and the
further
explanation will elaborate on this matter.

One of the most significant aspects of the ongoing topic which demands a keen contemplation is that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the modern technology, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
master in more than one specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
That is
to say, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
science to operate, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
enhance our perception to realize their usage better. Take my father
for instance
. He has been working in the IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as a web developer in the past 10 years. A couple of months ago, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
adopted higher technology to acquire more customers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money.
However
, my dad did not wary of this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
change and
he did not have the ability to perceive advanced and higher appliances.
Consequently
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fired from his work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
adept employees whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
were vast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to adjust for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
conditions.

Another noteworthy aspect of the topic which needs to
be reflected
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are looking for multifaceted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to perform faster. As a matter of fact, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and factories compete with each other and
perfectly
know that a business holder cannot reach to extreme interest rate unless dominates a broad range of information and data.
Thus
, a versatile employee can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them broaden their notions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects of their work.
Moreover
, they can facilitate the time which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be allocated
for one work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with creative solutions. To illustrate, perhaps my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience can shed more light on this matter.

I am always a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in fields of mechanics and business. My boss relies on my tips to manage business related problems.

Paradoxically
, it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
profound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
by mastering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
saying indicates that every person
is born
a unique talent to be a profession in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. In this regard, nobody is able to be perfect in any scientific fields due to their characteristics.

On the basis of the points mentioned above, I am pretty convinced that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for supporting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of mastering in more than one specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job positions. Meanwhile, it is improbable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a deep understanding in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our limited brain capacity.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay TPO 12- It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
502 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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