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do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have lots of different friends than it is to have just a few friends. v.359

It is better to have lots of different friends than it is to have just a few friends. v. 359
Some people think that a talented person is born rather than made, others are of the opinion that anyone can learn to become a successful sports player or musician. In this essay both views will be approached and I will explain why I think talent is printed in the genes and therefore cannot be taught. Gifted people have a special skill to feel what to do and the ability to learn easily without even thinking. Many artists, singers, instrument players and sports people just perform and feel somehow when they are doing good or bad. Take, for instance, Maradona, the greatest soccer player of all times, he did not know anything about the game techniques or strategies, but he followed his instincts and kick the ball amazingly. Others, meanwhile, even after studying for years and doing hard training, will never have what it takes to play as he did. On the other hand, many people claim that talent can be taught and learned. If babies hear music from the womb, for example, they will become attached to it and have a stronger capacity to sing or play certain instruments. Those who support this idea believe that another essential factor to earn talent is to practice, anyone that trains strong enough and for the time needed can get to be a good sports person or an artist. In like manner, there are specialized music or art schools in which students learn these qualities. In conclusion, in spite parents and schools can transmit and help children learn certain talents such as sports or music, it is just not enough to be successful at them. There is more needed than just trying hard and practice to become talented.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a talented person
is born
rather
than made, others are of the opinion that anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to become a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
player or musician. In this essay both views will
be approached
and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is printed
in the genes and
therefore
cannot
be taught
.

Gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to feel what to do and the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
easily
without even thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
artists, singers, instrument players and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
perform and feel somehow when they are doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Take,
for instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maradona
, the greatest soccer player of all times, he did not know anything about the game techniques or strategies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he followed his instincts and kick the ball
amazingly
. Others, meanwhile, even after studying for years and doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
training, will never have what it takes to play as he did.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
can
be taught
and learned. If babies hear music from the womb,
for example
, they will become attached to it and have a stronger capacity to sing or play certain instruments. Those who support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
believe that another essential factor to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is to practice, anyone that trains strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and for the time needed can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person or an artist. In like manner, there
are specialized
music or art schools in which students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
these qualities.

In conclusion
, in spite parents and schools can transmit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or music, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be successful at them. There is more needed than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
The verb 'practice' is used with the gerund form: "practice becoming".
practice to become
talented.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better to have lots of different friends than it is to have just a few friends. v. 359

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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