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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? We are more informed of the world events than our parents when they were young. v.328

We are more informed of the world events than our parents when they were young. v. 328
Undoubtedly, natural environment around the globe has severely affected by the human lifestyle. Although some argue that the effect is irreversible, others think that certain measures can make a difference. I agree with the latter view and believe that the situation can be reversed by preserving what is remaining. On the one hand, the damage caused by humans to the natural environment such as deforestation is considered to be unchanged. Millions of trees are cut down every year for fulfilling the human lifestyle needs. This has not only accelerated climate change around the world, but also destroyed the natural habitats of several animal species. Many species have become endangered and are near to complete extinction. For example, in China, deforestation of bamboo trees has threatened pandas to extinct more than the hunting of these animals. On the other hand, I would argue that despite the damage already done to the environment, there is still hope that the current situation can be reversed by taking certain steps such as raising awareness among the people, planting new trees, and rebuilding natural sanctuaries for the endangered species. For instance, Ethiopia set a world record in 2019 by planting 350 million trees within 12 hours to designated areas in the country. This not only contributed significantly to lowering the greenhouse emission levels, but also restored the natural habitat for native animals. In conclusion, although human activities have affected the environment fatally, I believe that some extra-ordinary measures can still preserve and improve the environment.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
around the globe has
severely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
lifestyle. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that the effect is irreversible, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that certain measures can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view and believe that the situation can
be reversed
by preserving what is remaining.

On the one hand, the damage caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
such as deforestation
is considered
to
be unchanged
. Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down every year for fulfilling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
lifestyle needs. This has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accelerated climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitats of several animal species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
species have become endangered and are near to complete extinction.
For example
, in China, deforestation of bamboo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
has threatened pandas to extinct more than the hunting of these animals.

On the other hand
, I would argue that despite the damage already done to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, there is
still
hope that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation can
be reversed
by taking certain steps such as raising awareness among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, planting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
, and rebuilding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
sanctuaries for the endangered species.
For instance
, Ethiopia set a world record in 2019 by planting 350 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
within 12 hours to designated areas in the country. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contributed
significantly
to lowering the greenhouse emission levels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
restored the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat for native animals.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
fatally
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra-ordinary measures can
still
preserve and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay We are more informed of the world events than our parents when they were young. v. 328

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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