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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to learn about life is by listening to the advice of others. Give specific examples to support your opinion. v.297

The best way to learn about life is by listening to the advice of others. Give specific examples to support your opinion. v. 297
In today's technologically advanced world, people argue over the trend of providing mobile phone for children. While some accord with the tendency, some differ with the same. In this essay I will portray both the aspects of the same. To begin with, kids get indulged in watching whatsoever pops up on the phone. Moreover, cutting edge phones are not only a mere calling tool, rather it has become a camera, video game, calendar, social interaction platform, music tool etc. Everything simultaneously. As a result of this, plenty of time gets killed by youngsters, which could have been utilized in studying or some extracurricular activities. Nonetheless, since smart phones are grabbing the whole community, chances of viewing inappropriate adult content by minors are also increasing. In addition to this, spending too much time looking at mobile phone can cause various harmful health risks, like headache, sleep disorder, cataract et cetera. In a study conducted by scientists of the American Academy of ophthalmology, it has been revealed that electromagnetic radiation of mobile phone can act as a catalyst of cataract by 20%. On the other hand, there are several conveniences of giving mobile phone to children. Firstly, parents can reach their offspring anytime they want, which eventually gives them a peace of mind. Also, in case of any emergency, they can track down their child by GPS, which confirms the safety and security of the child. Nevertheless, with the development of various educational learning apps, like Classdojo, Duolingo, Science 360 etc. Youngsters are becoming not only tech savvy, but also independent learners. The summerize, although mobile phone has some demerits, if it can be used by children under proper monitoring of parents, it can show the path to a new bright horizon.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
technologically
advanced world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue over the trend of providing mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for children. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
accord with the tendency,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differ with the same. In this essay I will portray both the aspects of the same.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
indulged in watching whatsoever pops up on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
Moreover
, cutting edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a mere calling tool,
rather
it has become a camera, video game, calendar, social interaction platform, music tool etc. Everything
simultaneously
.
As a result
of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
killed by youngsters, which could have
been utilized
in studying or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extracurricular activities. Nonetheless, since smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are grabbing the whole community, chances of viewing inappropriate adult content by minors are
also
increasing.
In addition
to this, spending too much time looking at mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can cause various harmful health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, like headache, sleep disorder, cataract
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
. In a study conducted by scientists of the American Academy of ophthalmology, it has
been revealed
that electromagnetic radiation of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can act as a catalyst of cataract by 20%.

On the other hand
, there are several conveniences of giving mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to children.
Firstly
, parents can reach their offspring anytime they want, which
eventually
gives them a peace of mind.
Also
, in case of any emergency, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
down their child by GPS, which confirms the safety and security of the child.
Nevertheless
, with the development of various educational learning apps, like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Classdojo
, Duolingo, Science 360 etc. Youngsters are becoming not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
tech savvy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
independent learners.

After 'The', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'summerize' is correct. If 'summerize' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
The summerize
, although mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits, if it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by children under proper monitoring of parents, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the path to a new bright horizon.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay The best way to learn about life is by listening to the advice of others. Give specific examples to support your opinion. v. 297

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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