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International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity? v.2

International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity? v. 2
People are always debating about marriages and the important criteria in a marriage. Some think it is a smart decision to marry for wealth as future in unpredictable, Whereas, others think it should be purely based on love between the individuals. In this essay we will discuss both the view and explain why I think love should be the most important criteria in a marriage. Some think marrying for money would result in a stable and a stress free life. Since funds are readily available, uncertain situations or demands could be faced with ease and confidence. In general, unexpected medical expenses or situations could be dealt with the available cash. For example, saved money in banks could be used to handle a sudden and unfortunate accident or illness. As a result, some feel it is wiser to marry for money to handle the unpredictable world without considering other things in a relationship. On the other hand, as they saying goes "love is eternal" and so the marriage based on love is also eternal. In this case, the core bonding between the individual is based on an internal feeling and not on anything external. In general, Any hardship would be faced together, as the liking between individual drives the relationship and leads to both dedicating the life to each other. For instance, individual’s had gone to great extend to express the love for their spouse. One such example, is the beautiful structure and a world wonder in India called Taj Mahal. Hence, marrying someone out of true love will be everlasting. In conclusion, As no one could predict the future, Love should be the basis for marriage, Since it eternally drives the individual to be compassionate and caring for the other partner. In future one's love should be the basic eligibility criteria for marriage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are always debating about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
criteria in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is a smart decision to marry for wealth as future in unpredictable, Whereas, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it should be
purely
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. In this essay we will discuss both the view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
should be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
criteria in a marriage.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
marrying for money would result in a stable and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free life. Since funds are
readily
available, uncertain situations or demands could
be faced
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and confidence.
In general
, unexpected medical expenses or situations could
be dealt
with the available cash.
For example
, saved money in banks could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to handle a sudden and unfortunate accident or illness.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel it is wiser to marry for money to handle the unpredictable world without considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things in a relationship.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, as
Did you mean "they're saying", "they are saying", or "they were saying"?
they saying
goes
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is eternal
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
is
also
eternal.
In this case
, the core bonding between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is based
on an internal feeling and not on anything external.
In general
, Any hardship would
be faced
together, as the liking between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
drives the relationship and leads to both dedicating the life to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For instance
,
Consider using the plural form here: "individuals".
individual’s
had gone to great extend to express the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
for their spouse. One such example, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
structure and a world wonder in India called Taj Mahal.
Hence
, marrying someone out of true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
will be everlasting.

In conclusion
, As no one could predict the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Love
should be the basis for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, Since it
eternally
drives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to be compassionate and caring for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
partner. In future one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
should be the basic eligibility criteria for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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