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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To be successful, a school should have many good textbooks. Use reasons and examples to support your response. v.277

To be successful, a school should have many good textbooks. Use reasons and examples to support your response. v. 277
What age humans should learn to keep track of their finances is a very clever question. Everyone needs to learn it at some point. I totally agree that it should be taught in a school. According to me, people should educate themselves about such matters sooner than later. Firstly, You can hire help to do almost any household tasks today, provided you are super rich. Still, You need to have complete control of your wealth. When you check life of any financially successful celebrity, you will realize that they all have one skill in common and that is financial awareness. Asset management is necessary for a common man who wants to live financially stable life. For example, doctors, lawyers, small shop owners or even housewife need to monitor their spending and earning habits. Secondly, Secondary school is a perfect time from age perspective to learn it. Everyone needs to manage their expenditures once they are in a college or starts working. You are less likely to make big mistakes, if you were given proper education. Teenagers have a lot less to lose financially, Hence you can learn and make mistakes along the way. For example, parents can give pocket money to their kids and they should try to keep track of all the transactions. Even if they fail in doing so, there is nothing bigger at stake. On the other hand, some people argue that some skill can't be taught in an institute and can be learned only by experience. However, I feel that most students if not all can learn at least basics in this way, which can reduce their probability of making horrible mistakes. In conclusion, Important lessons such as money management should be taught at a school level. It helps students and prepares them for the future.
What age humans should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their finances is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clever question. Everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it should
be taught
in a school.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should educate themselves about such matters sooner than later.

Firstly
, You can hire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to do almost any household tasks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, provided you are super rich.
Still
, You
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have complete control of your wealth. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
life of any
financially
successful celebrity, you will realize that they all have one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in common and
that is
financial awareness. Asset management is necessary for a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
financially
stable life.
For example
, doctors, lawyers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shop owners or even housewife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to monitor their spending and earning habits.

Secondly
, Secondary school is a perfect time from age perspective to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it. Everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to manage their expenditures once they are in a college or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
working. You are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mistakes, if you were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
have a lot less to lose
financially
,
Hence
you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes along the way.
For example
, parents can give pocket money to their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kids and
they should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of all the transactions. Even if they fail in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, there is nothing bigger at stake.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
can't
be taught
in an institute and can
be learned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by experience.
However
, I feel that most students if not all can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at least basics in this way, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their probability of making horrible mistakes.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
lessons such as money management should
be taught
at a school level. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students and prepares them for the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay To be successful, a school should have many good textbooks. Use reasons and examples to support your response. v. 277

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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