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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use details and examples to explain your answer. All children should be required to learn a second language in school. v.246

. All children should be required to learn a second language in school. v. 246
Due to the change in the lifestyle, people have evolved themselves from two-wheelers to the four-wheelers. Some are of the opinion that it has more benefits and is making their life convenient. In my opinion, purchasing cars can bring more benefits to people and hazardous effects on the environment can be mitigated. To begin with, there are several factors why purchasing cars can be beneficial. Firstly, travelling to different places will become easier when individuals will have their own vehicles instead of utilizing the public transport. It helps in managing their time and is more comfortable. For example, when going on any vacation with family, especially with the young ones, taking stops in between the journey become easier; else this is very cumbersome on the bus. Another reason is that, these days, there is a plethora of fuel efficient cars available in the market and it becomes economical when commuting by cars on the daily basis, rather, spending a large amount of money on using a taxi service. Sometimes, taxis are not even available in the case of any emergency and the cost also becomes double when one has to hire a cab service regularly. For instance, the cab service providers such as Uber, Ola always surge their prices during the peak hours which are generally the office hours and customers have to pay more than the standard charge. Despite owning a car provides myriad advantages, there are also multifarious serious consequences on our environment. Currently, almost every household is having at-least one four-wheeler and as a result, the traffic is increasing day-by-day, which is the main source of pollution. The humans do not clean the smoke filters of their vehicles regularly and let the poisonous gases emitted into the sky. To illustrate, in metropolitan cities such as Delhi, Mumbai, the quality of air is deteriorating due to dangerous smoke transmitted from the vehicles. To conclude, although there are some negatives of the cars, the positives outshine them. As, they are not only the cause of environmental problems, still the human beings can save the natural resources by buying electric cars in place of the ones that run on the fuels.
Due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the lifestyle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have evolved themselves from
Possible spelling mistake found.
two-wheelers
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
four-wheelers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that it has more benefits and is making their life convenient. In my opinion, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can bring more benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and hazardous effects on the environment can
be mitigated
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several factors why purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can be beneficial.
Firstly
, travelling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
easier when individuals will have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles
instead
of utilizing the public transport. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in managing their time and is more comfortable.
For example
, when going on any vacation with family,
especially
with the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
in between the journey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
easier; else this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cumbersome on the bus.

Another reason is that, these days, there is a plethora of fuel efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
available in the market and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
economical when commuting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the daily basis,
rather
, spending a large amount of money on using a taxi service.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, taxis are not even available in the case of any emergency and the cost
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
double when one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
hire a cab service
regularly
.
For instance
, the cab service providers such as Uber, Ola always surge their prices during the peak hours which are
generally
the office hours and customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more than the standard charge.

Despite owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
provides myriad advantages, there are
also
multifarious serious consequences on our environment.
Currently
, almost every household is having at-least one four-wheeler and
as a result
, the traffic is increasing day-by-day, which is the main source of pollution. The humans do not clean the smoke filters of their vehicles
regularly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the poisonous gases emitted into the sky. To illustrate, in metropolitan cities such as Delhi, Mumbai, the quality of air is deteriorating due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
smoke transmitted from the vehicles.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, the positives outshine them. As, they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the cause of environmental problems,
still
the human beings can save the natural resources by buying electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in place of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
that run on the fuels.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay . All children should be required to learn a second language in school. v. 246

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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