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TPO 10: task2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use details and examples to explain your answer. All children should be required to learn a second language in school. v.1

TPO 10: task2: . All children should be required to learn a second language in school. v. 1
Media lets people to receive and transmit information making everyone knows about events on the planet. And with technological advancements, it has become even much easier. Unfortunately, the news making process is still very influenced by journalists which sometimes resulted in biased and not reliable data we get. Thus, some stop believes news at all. In my eyes, there are only few independent journalists who can be trusted and called honest people, while an enormous world wide known news agencies have forgotten what it means to be a true reporter and serve the common people. First and foremost reason why I consider independent journalism is the only source people have to believe is their intention. Although in the most cases, they are well known in the world of news and could earn more money, making fake news, these people still believe in freedom of speech and professional ethics, creating such an honest and provocative content which can even be banned by the authorities. To cite this in two thousand nineteen there was a breakthrough and a shocking journalistic review, which reveal bribery of Moscow mayor and his administration. While it was the most discussed topic on the Internet media, the main governmental channels kept silent as it was the authorities had been involved. The only one brave journalist was courageous enough to declare the truth because journalism and the freedom of speech is his way of living. Finally, why not all the news sources are reliable is that we are all just humans and it makes our brain to add some details while giving information to others. Moreover, due to cultural differences they can receive information in a differ way, according to our cultural patterns which we knew and perceived in childhood. For instance, when Ireland government revealed many cases of sexual abuse of foster children by Catholic church members, a lot of the Protestants considered them as false accusations, because they were brought up differently, believing that men served the God could not be such monsters. To sum up, I reckon that with globalisation people today faced with the problem of information approving, which means that one should try to check facts and try to look at the news through different angles before believing ones because it was shown on a federal news channel.
Media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to receive and transmit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
making everyone knows about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on the planet. And with technological advancements, it has become even much easier. Unfortunately, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
making process is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influenced by journalists which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
resulted in biased and not reliable data we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
believes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at all. In my eyes, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few independent journalists who can
be trusted
and called honest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while an enormous
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
agencies have forgotten what it means to be a true reporter and serve the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

First
and foremost reason why I consider independent journalism is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
believe is their intention. Although in the most cases, they are well known in the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and could earn more money, making fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
believe in freedom of speech and professional ethics, creating such an honest and provocative content which can even
be banned
by the authorities. To cite this in two thousand nineteen there was a breakthrough and a shocking journalistic review, which reveal bribery of Moscow mayor and his administration. While it was the most discussed topic on the Internet media, the main governmental channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
silent as it was the authorities had
been involved
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one brave journalist was courageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to declare the truth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
journalism and the freedom of speech is his way of living.

Finally
, why not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
sources are reliable is that we are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
humans and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our brain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
while giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to others.
Moreover
, due to cultural differences they can receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'differ' is correct. If 'differ' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a differ
way, according to our cultural patterns which we knew and perceived in childhood.
For instance
, when Ireland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
revealed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of sexual abuse of foster children by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Catholic church
members,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the Protestants considered them as false accusations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were brought
up
differently
, believing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
served the God could not be such monsters.

To sum up, I reckon that with
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
faced with the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
approving, which means that one should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
facts and try to look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
angles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
believing ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
was shown
on a federal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 10: task2: . All children should be required to learn a second language in school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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