Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people like to travel outside their country. Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first, before travelling abroad. Which do you prefer to do and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v.5

Some people like to travel outside their country. Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first, before travelling abroad. Which do you prefer to do and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v. 5
In the modern age, travel becomes more prevailing both domestically and internationally. Some people pursue having a holiday overseas. However, another group of people strongly opposed to this and tend to book tickets for indigenous trips. Personally, I suppose that domestic travel should initially take precedence over foreign travel. First of all, a mounting number of people find it difficult to have a vacation abroad when they are in emergency situations. Therefore, taking a trip in motherland helps them be able to deal with problems easily because the don't need to face to the language barrier and geography or even waste a lot of time, money to tackle circumstances. For example, if people are lost, especially they are not familiar with territory in there, they can't probably know what they have to do or how to get a help from the natives. Seriously, there are many people suffering from culture shock on account of the cultural difference. In addition, people’s knowledge of their own countries and culture is still in low level. This is largely because foreign brands, television shows and cultural objects flooding local markets. For example, The Asian Cultural Society found that Japanese teenagers knew more about the American television series than 19th Century Japanese woodcuts. It should therefore be clear that citizens need to know much more about their own culture and traditions before others. Finally, local tourism would greatly help to boost our own economy since tourists generally pump enormous amount of money into the local economy they visit. Hence, it is obviously a better option to uplift our own economy first. From those above points, it can be concluded that both local and international excursions have their own pros and cons, and to select one among them is a personal choice, which depends on the circumstances of an individual. However, in my opinion, considering the benefits the local tourism brings to their own nation, domestic tourism must be encouraged.
In the modern age, travel becomes more prevailing both
domestically
and
internationally
.
Some
people
pursue having a holiday overseas.
However
, another group of
people
strongly
opposed to this and tend to book tickets for indigenous trips.
Personally
, I suppose that domestic travel should
initially
take precedence over foreign travel.

First of all
, a mounting number of
people
find it difficult to have a vacation abroad when they are in emergency situations.
Therefore
, taking
a trip in
motherland
helps
them be able to deal with problems
easily
because
the
don't need to face to the language barrier and geography or even waste
a lot of
time, money to tackle circumstances.
For example
, if
people
are lost
,
especially
they are not familiar with territory in there, they can't
probably
know what they
have to
do or how to
get
a
help
from the natives.
Seriously
, there are
many
people
suffering from culture shock on account of the cultural difference.

In addition
,
people’s
knowledge of their
own
countries and culture is
still
in low level. This is
largely
because
foreign brands, television
shows
and cultural objects flooding
local
markets.
For example
, The Asian Cultural Society found that Japanese
teenagers
knew more about the American television series than 19th Century Japanese woodcuts. It should
therefore
be
clear
that citizens need to know much more about their
own
culture and traditions
before
others.

Finally
,
local
tourism would
greatly
help
to boost our
own
economy since tourists
generally
pump enormous amount of money into the
local
economy they visit.
Hence
, it is
obviously
a better option to uplift our
own
economy
first
.

From those above points, it can
be concluded
that both
local
and international excursions have their
own
pros and cons, and to select one among them is a personal choice, which depends on the circumstances of an individual.
However
, in my opinion, considering the benefits the
local
tourism brings to their
own
nation, domestic tourism
must
be encouraged
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to travel outside their country. Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first, before travelling abroad. Which do you prefer to do and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts