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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern agriculturemethods damage the environment, but providing food for the growingpopulation around the world is more important than protecting theenvironment. v.215

Modern agriculturemethods damage the environment, but providing food for the growingpopulation around the world is more important than protecting theenvironment. v. 215
With the passing years way of living has totally changed, especially of children they are getting things which make their lives comfortable as compared to earlier children used to get. This essay will discuss what are the causes of this change and whether it is beneficial or drawback. To embark on, with augments in disposable income of people and thanks to the advancement of technology that they can eat enough and wear nice and comfortable clothes. They are getting various other amenities which a decade a child does not use to have it. For example, in the past, there were no heating and cooling system and they cannot join each and every sport or classes other than educational. Since with tremendously increase the income of the people children of this era are living far better life than old ones. Another advantage they got is car or buses. For instance, a study shows that every 5th house in the world has at least 1 car in the house which make the children barely walk even small distances like going to next block only they need a car or bus to travel. Thus, advanced technology also play a vital part in these comfortable lives. On the contrary side, although these amenities have lots of benefits, but not good for long run as it affects one's health. For example, if a child will not like to walk it will him or her obesity which is not good for physical well being of small young ones. Not just this but also long time exposure of smart screens affect their eyes and in small age, they have to wear glasses which is not a good thing. All these have amenities has made them introvert they barely talk with anyone and it also had great impact on their studies. To illustrate, children these days are getting lower than average scores in the exam which is not good for their future as they are the future of the country. So there is a must to put the limit to the usage to every facility. In a nutshell, As the saying goes Every coin has two sides. Likewise, despite of all positive sides Of these benefits, it still has a major drawback which is not good for juvenile. So there must be some limitation towards the usage of this could lead to a much better life.
With the passing years way of living has
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
,
especially
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they are getting things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
comfortable as compared to earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. This essay will discuss what are the causes of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and whether it is beneficial or drawback.

To embark on, with augments in disposable income of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and thanks to the advancement of technology that they can eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and wear nice and comfortable clothes. They are getting various other amenities which a decade a child does not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
have it.
For example
, in the past, there were no heating and cooling
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
system and
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
each and every sport or classes other than educational.

“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
with
tremendously
increase the income of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of this era are living far better life than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Another advantage they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
is car or buses.
For instance
, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that every 5th
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the world has at least 1 car in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
barely
walk even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
distances like going to
next
block
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they need a car or bus to travel.
Thus
, advanced technology
also
play a vital part in these comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the contrary
side, although these amenities have lots of benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for long run as it affects one's health.
For example
, if a child will not like to walk it will him or her obesity which is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for physical
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
long time exposure of smart screens affect their eyes and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear glasses which is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing. All these have amenities has made them introvert they
barely
talk with anyone and it
also
had great impact on their studies. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days are getting lower than average scores in the exam which is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for their future as they are the future of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
put the limit to the usage to every facility.

In a nutshell, As the saying goes Every coin has two sides.
Likewise
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides Of these benefits, it
still
has a major drawback which is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for juvenile.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitation towards the usage of this could lead to a much better life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern agriculturemethods damage the environment, but providing food for the growingpopulation around the world is more important than protecting theenvironment. v. 215

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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