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Some students prefer to have their final grades determined by numerous small assignments, whereas others prefer to have their grades determined by only a few large ones. Which one doyou prefer and why? v.1

Some students prefer to have their final grades determined by numerous small assignments, whereas others prefer to have their grades determined by only a few large ones. Which one doyou prefer and why? v. 1
It has become a growing trend among firms to hire people with excellent social skills. In fact, some firms give more importance to social skills than academic qualifications. Some people, however, argue that a person’s educational qualifications should be the prime deciding factor in the recruitment process. I don’t agree with this view because in this modern era social skills are essential to survive in the workplace. There are many reasons why companies prefer employees with good social skills. Firstly, thanks to globalisation now local industries have to deal with multinational corporations. Secondly, Good communication and negotiation skills help build better trade relations. Thus in order to expand their business globally, companies are recruiting people with good social skills. For example, now India has a booming call centre industry. If one wants to find a job in this sector one needs a good command of the English language. There is yet another reason to hire employees with good social skills. The various departments of modern organisations are interconnected and thus to augment the productivity and smoother functioning, it is necessary to have great understanding between these departments. For example, in many enterprises, the IT department has to work with the HR department and the marketing department. In this situation, if employees lack good communication skills, it may lead to conflicts and chaos. However, there is an important argument against the emphasis on social skills. The backbone of any successful business is the intellectual power of its employees. One can’t produce great products with social skills. One needs technical and academic knowledge for that. To conclude, educational qualifications are definitely important and they must be considered while hiring employees. However, in this day and age, social skills are also becoming equally important. And in some sectors that require a lot of interactions with people, social skills are more important than academic skills.
It has become a growing trend among firms to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
firms give more importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
than academic qualifications.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, argue that a person’s educational qualifications should be the prime deciding factor in the recruitment process. I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are essential to survive in the workplace.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Firstly
, thanks to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
local industries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with multinational corporations.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
communication and negotiation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build better trade relations.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
in order to expand their business globally,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are recruiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
India has a booming call
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
industry.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
one wants to find a job in this sector one needs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
command of the English language.

There is
yet
another reason to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. The various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
departments
of modern
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are interconnected
and
thus
to augment the productivity and smoother functioning, it is necessary to have great understanding between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
departments
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
enterprises, the IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
work with the HR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
and the marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
. In this situation, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, it may lead to conflicts and chaos.

However
, there is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
argument against the emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. The backbone of any successful business is the intellectual power of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. One can’t produce great products with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. One needs technical and academic knowledge for that.

To conclude
, educational qualifications are definitely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
while hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
However
, in this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
also
becoming
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. And in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors that require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interactions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some students prefer to have their final grades determined by numerous small assignments, whereas others prefer to have their grades determined by only a few large ones. Which one doyou prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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