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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries. v.744

The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries. v. 744
As some people may hold the view that there is a list of the factors which have a great influence on the enhancement of training system in place of the teachers’ salaries; however, others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the main element in this promotion is the teacher' s wage. I personally agree with the second belief. In the following paragraphs I will delve into the most outstanding reasons which persuade me to put forward this perspective. The first exquisite reason which advocates my idea is the sense of motivation. It is lucidly obvious that the teachers are the main links who convey the information to the students. Thus, it illustrates they have the vital rules in the educational system. If they are motived to do their job, they will present their best function. The high salary can be considering as one of the proper methods to encourage the teachers. Consequently, they will render their appropriate functions in the sake of the encouragement of their decent wages. The second reason is the less concern with economic status. Unfortunately, the teachers' wages are defined in a low level of society' s incomes. This condition leads them to be worried about the financial crisis. Besides, it is arduous to concentrate in the both tasks in a same time. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my teacher' s example. She was one of the best and professional teachers in our school; however, she had some financial restriction. Thus, it was really difficult for her to put her focus on the materials delivered in the class, while she was thinking about the rent of her house. Hence, her concern with her financial state sheds the shadow on her presentation in our class. The last reason which confirms the accuracy of my perspective is the investment of this money to increase their knowledge level. For instance, if they economically are in welfare, they will devote a portion of their incomes to do researches. These researches lead them to update their information and become the informative lecturers. These alternations have a great impact on the educational systems. According to the noteworthy intelligible research conducted in my country, more than sixty nine percent of the teachers with high wages in the high schools of Tehran spend a huge ratio of their salaries to do investigation and update their knowledge. These incidents have a great effect on the training system of high schools in Tehran. To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead to the conclusion that by promotion in the teachers’ salaries they will be a great enhancement in the training system of societies. As teachers have the vital role in the educational system, the high wages can motivates, help them to concentrate on their main duties, and update their knowledge.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hold the view that there is a list of the factors which have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
influence on the enhancement of training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in place of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
;
however
, others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the main element in this promotion is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s wage. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second belief. In the following paragraphs I will delve into the most outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

The
first
exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which advocates my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is the sense of motivation. It is
lucidly
obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are the main links who convey the information to the students.
Thus
, it illustrates they have the vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. If they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
motived
to do their job, they will present their best function. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
can be considering as one of the proper methods to encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Consequently
, they will render their appropriate functions in the sake of the encouragement of their decent wages.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the less concern with economic status. Unfortunately, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachers&
#039; wages
are defined
in a low level of
Possible spelling mistake found.
society&
#039; s incomes. This condition leads them to
be worried
about the financial crisis.
Besides
, it is arduous to concentrate in the both tasks in a same time. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on the subject is my
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s example. She was one of the best and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in our school;
however
, she had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial restriction.
Thus
, it was
really
difficult for her to put her focus on the materials delivered in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, while she was thinking about the rent of her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Hence
, her concern with her financial state sheds the shadow on her presentation in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which confirms the accuracy of my perspective is the investment of this money to increase their knowledge level.
For instance
, if they
economically
are in welfare, they will devote a portion of their incomes to do researches. These researches lead them to update their information and become the informative lecturers. These alternations have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
impact on the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
. According to the noteworthy intelligible research conducted in my country, more than
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sixty nine
percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schools of Tehran spend a huge ratio of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
to do investigation and update their knowledge. These incidents have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
effect on the training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schools in Tehran.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and examples lead to the conclusion that by promotion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
they will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
enhancement in the training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of societies. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have the vital role in the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages can motivates,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to concentrate on their main duties, and update their knowledge.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries. v. 744

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
476 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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