Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or not with the statement that a leader should have strong opinions and not change his/he opinions? v.1

that a leader should have strong opinions and not change his/he opinions? v. 1
In recent years the growing number of people are choosing to use the internet for their meetings and education. In my opinion, although the internet makes meetings more convince, it brings some drawbacks. On the one hand, one obvious advantage of using the internet is that online training sessions and business meetings have made our lives effortless. You have full leverage to attend these online meetings from home or from anywhere else, where you feel comfortable and peaceful. With the growth of population using online courses, the demand for transportation becomes less and many people no longer need to leave their homes. As a result, it leads to air pollution reduction. Moreover, they can save time and money. It means they do not waste their time in populated streets and traffic jams. Also, do not need to book a ticket and reserve a hotel for a one-day meeting. On the other hand, one of the problems that using the internet for business can cause is that in some developing countries like my country Iran, the internet speed is very low and it could be disconnected anytime. This was unfortunately illustrated by last month's experience that all the country did not have access to the internet for about one week. That has a negative impact on many online businesses. Furthermore, it needs high technology equipment, and it uses a lot of electricity, which is costly and is not affordable for most people. Apart from this, another drawback of this is we have less human interaction because of them, and you do not get a chance to make new friends. In conclusion, although it has become more popular for people to hold meetings and tanning programs through the internet, it needs some necessary infrastructure that is not available in some countries.
In recent years the growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and education. In my opinion, although the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
more convince, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

On the one hand, one obvious advantage of using the internet is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training sessions and business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
have made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
effortless. You have full leverage to attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
from home or from anywhere else, where you feel comfortable and peaceful. With the growth of population using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses, the demand for transportation becomes less and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their homes.
As a result
, it leads to air pollution reduction.
Moreover
, they can save time and money. It means they do not waste their time in populated streets and traffic jams.
Also
, do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to book a ticket and reserve a hotel for a one-day meeting.

On the other hand
, one of the problems that using the internet for business can cause is that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Iran, the internet speed is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low and it could
be disconnected
anytime. This was unfortunately illustrated by last month's experience that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
did not have access to the internet for about one week. That has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
businesses.
Furthermore
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
high technology equipment, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
electricity, which is costly and is not affordable for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Apart from this, another drawback of this is we have less human interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them, and you do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends.

In conclusion
, although it has become more popular for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and tanning programs through the internet, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary infrastructure
that is
not available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay that a leader should have strong opinions and not change his/he opinions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts