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You are relocating to a new city. write a letter to an agent to arrange a house for you and your family. When and why are you relocating. what kind of house do you want? v.1

You are relocating to a new city. write a letter to an agent to arrange a house for you and your family. When and why are you relocating. what kind of house do you want? v. 1
In recent decades, many cities have been flooded with vehicles mostly cars. Some believe that this has led to the changing world into ‘one big traffic jam’. I completely agree with this statement. Also, the government can take few measures to discourage the public from using their cars. To start with, the urbanization has given us both positive and negative impacts. One of the major setback are traffic jams. To elaborate, with increased earning, easy loans and convenience, each person tends to own car in the family. Although, authorities tend to increase the number of roads and widen the preexisting roads, all is in vain. This situation is worsening every day, which leads to people spending long hours on the road rather than reaching the destination. Also, to add on, more air pollution occurs with combustion in vehicles standing on roads and health issues. To include the issues, people are having more respiratory problems and due to long sitting, have posture problems, back issues and sedentary lifestyle concerns. These all, in the runs are ruining our health. Furthermore, the government can play a crucial role in discouraging people by imposing green taxes on car owners. They can also increase service tax on person for buying a second car. Also, authorities can promote public transport by providing better connectivity and increased frequency of buses and trains. Additionally, a rebate to common people for using public transport everyday could be a promotional initiative. Government needs to take some hard steps and keep people benefits in mind to curb the jam issue. To conclude, we need to solve the traffic problems sooner and efficiently for common people benefit
In recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities have
been flooded
with vehicles
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that this has led to the changing world into ‘one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
traffic jam’. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take few measures to discourage the public from using their cars.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the urbanization has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. One of the major setback are traffic jams. To elaborate, with increased earning, easy loans and convenience, each person tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in the family. Although, authorities tend to increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and widen the preexisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, all is in vain. This situation is worsening every day, which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending long hours on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
rather
than reaching the destination.
Also
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, more air pollution occurs with combustion in vehicles standing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and health issues. To include the issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having more respiratory problems and due to long sitting, have posture problems, back issues and sedentary lifestyle concerns. These all, in the runs are ruining our health.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play a crucial role in discouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by imposing green taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners. They can
also
increase service tax on person for buying a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
Also
, authorities can promote public transport by providing better connectivity and increased frequency of buses and trains.
Additionally
, a rebate to common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for using public transport
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
could be a promotional initiative.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
needs to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
steps and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
benefits
in mind to curb the jam issue.

To conclude
, we need to solve the traffic problems sooner and
efficiently
for common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
benefit
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are relocating to a new city. write a letter to an agent to arrange a house for you and your family. When and why are you relocating. what kind of house do you want? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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