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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Nowadays more and more people spend too much money on their pets (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for this money. v.121

Nowadays more and more people spend too much money on their pets (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for this money. v. 121
In the era of technology, the trend of distance learning is booming across the globe. Every change has certain reasons, so the distance mode of education is no more an exception. But this tendency has also some problems for learners which I will discuss in my following paragraphs. The distinct feature of distance learning is that it facilitates a learner to learn from anywhere at his/her convenience and this is the reason why many more learners are fascinated to get enrolled in such programs. Moreover, it has proven a blessing for working people around the world, since it provides opportunities for the learners to have less interference in the professional life. It is an excellent alternative for those who look for improving their careers or who require some special form of training. Some people who want to gain professional degree or certificate of prestigious institutions and do not get the opportunity to physically join such institute due to want of finances or inter government permissions, also can make their dream true by studying through Open University. Where distance learning has a large number of advantages, it possesses some inherent challenges as well. Basic aspect being that it is not for everyone, since it presents inadequate or rather no physical contact with associate classmates and staff. In such learning programs, students do not need to attend regular lectures so their queries remain unsolved. Apart from that, many students left their course incomplete as they are not timely motivated as they are not in direct touch with their tutors. As per the latest survey conducted, there is a wide gulf between the numbers of students registered with open universities and the numbers of students out of them completed their degrees successfully. In short, because of time flexibility and other reasons, mostly working people are interested in joining distance learning programs, but the challenges involved in it is also a matter concern.
In the era of technology, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is booming across the globe. Every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has certain reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
mode of education is no more an exception.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this tendency has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
which I will discuss in my following paragraphs.

The distinct feature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is that it facilitates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learner
to learn from anywhere at his/her convenience and this is the reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
are fascinated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled in such programs.
Moreover
, it has proven a blessing for working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world, since it provides opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
to have less interference in the professional life. It is an excellent alternative for those who look for improving their careers or who require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special form of training.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to gain professional degree or certificate of prestigious institutions and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
such institute due to want of finances or inter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
permissions,
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their dream true by studying through Open University.

Where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
advantages, it possesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inherent challenges
as well
. Basic aspect being that it is not for everyone, since it presents inadequate or
rather
no physical contact with associate classmates and staff. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
programs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not need to attend regular lectures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their queries remain unsolved. Apart from that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their course incomplete as they are not timely motivated as they are not in direct touch with their tutors. As per the latest survey conducted, there is a wide gulf between the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
registered with open universities and the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
out of them completed their degrees
successfully
.

In short,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of time flexibility and other reasons,
mostly
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are interested
in joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the challenges involved in it is
also
a matter concern.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people spend too much money on their pets (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for this money. v. 121

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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