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TPO-37- Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Many people nowadays spend too much money on their pets (dogs, cats, or other animals), although there are better uses for this money. Use specific reasons and examples t v.1

TPO-37- Independent Writing Task Many people nowadays spend too much money on their pets (dogs, cats, or other animals), although there are better uses for this money. Use specific reasons and examples t v. 1
Nowadays, The trend of the shopping from a large plaza has been increased drastically. While, most of local business or shops has been ruined. However, I will discuss the positive or negative development of the business either local shops or a large shopping mall. On the one hand, The first and foremost important point of this is that people prefers large shopping malls for buying the goods. In addition, they can purchase many items from a single large shopping mall within a convenient way. The second utmost crucial point of worth considering is that lots of companies want to sell their products and they promote their business in malls for the publicity of the customers. Owing to this way, people can purchase their products and enhance their profit of the company. For example, In Karachi, various malls have been constructed. For instance, Lucky One Mall, Dolmen Mall, Melinium Mall Therefore, most of customers can travel in a convenient way and purchase a desirable good. On the other hand, there is some negative development of the local shops. The main negative point is that due to large shopping centre the small business has been destroyed. Moreover, Most of families are spending their life in a trouble due to low income. Another drawback of closing a local shop is that sometime lots of items are not available at shops and also no quality conscious. Thus, People choose a large market as compared to the local shops. For example, In Karachi various sorts of local markets were available 10 years ago. Unfortunately, Due to the lack of visit of customers, cash flow has been down. That's why people prefer large shopping mall. In conclusion, Following discussion and analysis is adequate for positive and negative development of the largest shopping and local shops. In my opinion, due to less cash flow in a local market will have a negative development of local trade.
Nowadays, The trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
plaza has
been increased
drastically
. While, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
has
been ruined
.
However
, I will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall.

On the one hand, The
first
and foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point of this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
prefers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for buying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
In addition
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
items from a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
within a convenient way. The second utmost crucial point of worth considering is that lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
want to sell their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
they promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for the publicity of the customers. Owing to this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their products and enhance their profit of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, In Karachi, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have
been constructed
.
For instance
, Lucky One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mall
, Dolmen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mall
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Melinium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mall
Therefore
,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the customers") or simply say "most customers".
most of customers
can travel
Consider replacing "in a convenient way" with the adverb for "convenient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a convenient way
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a desirable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

On the other hand
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
Moreover
,
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the families") or simply say "Most families".
Most of families
are spending their life in a trouble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to low income. Another drawback of closing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
is that sometime lots of items are not available at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
also
no quality conscious.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
market as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
For example
, In Karachi various sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets were available 10 years ago. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the lack of visit of customers, cash flow has been down. That's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall.

In conclusion
, Following discussion and analysis is adequate for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to less cash flow in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trade.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-37- Independent Writing Task Many people nowadays spend too much money on their pets (dogs, cats, or other animals), although there are better uses for this money. Use specific reasons and examples t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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