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Do you agree or disagree with that it is necessary to ask other people about your decision. Give specific reason to support your view. v.1

with that it is necessary to ask other people about your decision. Give specific reason to support your view. v. 1
One of the most hotly-debated issues in today's world is whether people keep moving for better opportunities regarding a job, house, community or better weather conditions or having a root in one place. Personally, I firmly agree with the second perspective for reasons mentioned below. This essay will examine both views followed by my personal point of view. On the one hand, there are those who argue that seeking the best in every aspect of life is essential due to the fact that change is the only constant. This leads to accepting the challenges to reach higher goals resulting in having more room for personal growth and development. As a consequence, individuals can have higher living standards. This has been evidenced by the numerous academic studies the latest of which is one published by the University of Russia in 2019 concluding that most of the working-age population of Russia can have a high quality of life if they decide to change their location or job. The study further shows that 75% of them are satisfied with their lives as they have more opportunities to grow when they switch their paths which ends up with a sense of accomplishment. On the other hand, however, are those who reject the aforementioned view, contending that having a stable life brings professionalism due to the fact that focusing on one subject or living in the same area allows people to know about almost everything of the related matters. The proponents of this view point to the fact that it helps to master in that area, resulting in high-efficiency which leads to unexpected discoveries. According to the statistics released by the Science of Sydney Committee in 2017 indicates that people who spend their lives on one particular job are 5 times more likely to find new approaches to solve problems as they have a mass amount of knowledge regarding the subject. Moreover, 80% of the participants in nations' growth and development has been done by those who stick with the same position as they have invented more than others for the nations. In conclusion, while some believe people should chase new opportunities by changing the job, home or even the location, given the fact that it contributes to personal growth, personally I tend to concur with the fact that the stable life brings success to individuals since it allows to gain more specific knowledge which helps national growth
One of the most
hotly
-debated issues in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
moving for better opportunities regarding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, community or better weather conditions or having a root in one place.
Personally
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second perspective for reasons mentioned below. This essay will examine both views followed by my personal point of view.

On the one hand, there are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue that seeking the best in every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is essential due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
constant. This leads to accepting the challenges to reach higher goals resulting in having more room for personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and development. As a consequence, individuals can have higher living standards. This has
been evidenced
by the numerous academic studies the latest of which is one published by the University of Russia in 2019 concluding that most of the working-age population of Russia can have a high quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if they decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their location or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The study
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 75% of them
are satisfied
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as they have more opportunities to grow when they switch their paths which ends up with a sense of accomplishment.

On the other hand
,
however
, are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
reject the aforementioned view, contending that having a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
brings professionalism due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that focusing on one subject or living in the same area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know about almost everything of the related matters. The proponents of this view point to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to master in that area, resulting in high-efficiency which leads to unexpected discoveries. According to the statistics released by the Science of Sydney Committee in 2017 indicates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are 5 times more likely to find new approaches to solve problems as they have a mass amount of knowledge regarding the subject.
Moreover
, 80% of the participants in nations'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and development has
been done
by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stick with the same position as they have invented more than others for the nations.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should chase new opportunities by changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, home or even the location,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it contributes to personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
,
personally
I tend to concur with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that the stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
brings success to individuals since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
Did you mean "gaining"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to gain
more specific knowledge which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay with that it is necessary to ask other people about your decision. Give specific reason to support your view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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