Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

TPO28 Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
These days, people’s perspectives on the value of clothing are changing, and individuals tended to wear similar clothing compared to people in the past who opted for their traditional clothing. I believe this trend exerts a positive influence on the society. It is certainly true that there are some drawbacks to this tendency because it may lead to a loss of global diversity. It can be argued those who wear ordinary clothes such as T-shirts and jeans cannot feel a connection to their roots, and they are likely to neglect their culture and the contribution of their ancestors. Therefore, these people may not take pride in their region, and they might migrate to an urban location rather than contribute to the development of their community. Consequently, many ethnic minorities could suffer from the depopulation and eventually disappear. However, I believe that there are more positives than negatives in people opting for similar clothes. The first explanation is that individuals can feel a sense of unity with people all over the world, even though they have different religions and ways of life. This mind would motivate people in the world to support one another, instead of thinking that different parts of the world should deal with their own problems when natural disasters and other terrible problems occur in different nations. Furthermore, this tendency is economically profitable. Generally speaking, as ordinary clothes are automatically manufactured, they can be produced faster and more affordable than traditional clothing such as Japanese Kimono, which is handcrafted. In conclusion, although people today tend to wear similar clothes instead of traditional ones and this trend will cause several problems, I believe that the society as a whole can reap more benefits of this tendency.
These days,
people’s
perspectives on the value of clothing are changing, and individuals tended to wear similar clothing compared to
people
in the past who opted for their traditional clothing. I believe this trend exerts a
positive
influence on the society.

It is
certainly
true that there are
some
drawbacks to this tendency
because
it may lead to a loss of global diversity. It can
be argued
those who wear ordinary
clothes
such as T-shirts and jeans cannot feel a connection to their roots, and they are likely to neglect their culture and the contribution of their ancestors.
Therefore
, these
people
may not take pride in their region, and they might migrate to an urban location
rather
than contribute to the development of their community.
Consequently
,
many
ethnic minorities could suffer from the depopulation and
eventually
disappear.

However
, I believe that there are more positives than negatives in
people
opting for similar
clothes
. The
first
explanation is that individuals can feel a sense of unity with
people
all over the world,
even though
they have
different
religions and ways of life. This mind would motivate
people
in the world to support one another,
instead
of thinking that
different
parts of the world should deal with their
own
problems when natural disasters and other terrible problems occur in
different
nations.
Furthermore
, this tendency is
economically
profitable.
Generally
speaking, as ordinary
clothes
are
automatically
manufactured, they can
be produced
faster and more affordable than traditional clothing such as Japanese Kimono, which
is handcrafted
.

In conclusion
, although
people
today
tend to wear similar
clothes
instead
of traditional ones and this trend will cause several problems, I believe that the society as a whole can reap more benefits of this tendency.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO28 Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts