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Do you agree or disagree the following statement One quality that a successful leader must have is to make decision quickly when a leader takes too much time to make decisions he will be seen as ineffective to the people he lead v.1

One quality that a successful leader must have is to make decision quickly when a leader takes too much time to make decisions he will be seen as ineffective to the people he lead v. 1
The ageing population has led to increasing concerns about pensions and their future sustainability. There are conflicting views on whether the government or the private sector should be responsible for old people during their retirement. Although private pension is becoming popular, my view is that it is the government’s responsibility to provide financial stability to its senior citizens in retirement. To begin with state pension programs will help alleviate poverty for older citizens after retirement. For example, in Mexico, studies showed that 55% of its workforce benefited from state pension programs and while those in non-contributory programs alleviated poverty by 20%. These programs are usually tied to employment, so that workers will receive financial and health care benefits when they get old and stop working. In some countries, the state pension plans also include non-contributory programs which benefit those workers whose employers were not compliant with superannuation systems as well as for those individuals that never worked by reason of disability, incapacity or possibly no proper education. Further superannuation schemes provide social security for older people in the later years. Such schemes (often mandatory) encourage long term savings. There is also recognition that adults during their workforce years do not provide for their senior years because of current consumption over savings and insufficient saving for retirement when the person is younger. With government retirement programs, there is a redistribution of income within a person's lifetime to enable accumulation of wealth. This is illustrated when a 20year old may not even consider pension contributions upon entering the workforce and focus more on household expenditure or mortgage repayments. In conclusion, government funded pensions benefit older citizens through poverty alleviation and social security which I think should only be institutionalised through the state and not burdened on individuals in the private sector.
The
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population has led to increasing concerns about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pensions
and their future sustainability. There are conflicting views on whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or the private sector should be responsible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
. Although private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
is becoming popular, my view is that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
responsibility to provide financial stability to its senior citizens in retirement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
alleviate poverty for older citizens after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
.
For example
, in Mexico, studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 55% of its workforce benefited from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and while those in non-contributory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
alleviated poverty by 20%. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
usually
tied to employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that workers will receive financial and health care benefits when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
working. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
plans
also
include non-contributory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
which benefit those workers whose employers were not compliant with superannuation systems
as well
as for those individuals that never worked by reason of disability, incapacity or
possibly
no proper education.

Further
superannuation schemes provide social security for older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the later years. Such schemes (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mandatory) encourage long term savings. There is
also
recognition that adults during their workforce years do not provide for their senior years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
consumption over savings and insufficient saving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
when the person is younger. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, there is a redistribution of income within a person's lifetime to enable accumulation of wealth. This
is illustrated
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
20year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
may not even consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
contributions upon entering the workforce and focus more on household expenditure or mortgage repayments.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pensions
benefit older citizens through poverty alleviation and social security which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'institutionalised' is British English.
institutionalised
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
and not burdened on individuals in the private sector.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay One quality that a successful leader must have is to make decision quickly when a leader takes too much time to make decisions he will be seen as ineffective to the people he lead v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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