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Do you agree or disagree that grade school students should bring a cell phone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.2

that grade school students should bring a cell phone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 2
The popularity of technology devices among youth has become a major source of discussion. One of these discussions is related to the use of cell phones in environments such as grade schools. There is people who support the use of this device in the schools while other persons doesn' t see this habit as a good one to young students. I personally believe that grade school students should not bring cell phone to school since it might become a source of distraction and might not help them in improve social abilities. Some may say that modernity requires students to be allowed to bring mobile phones to school. It might be stated that such device is useful to pupils since it has a variety of apps that might help them to boost their knowledge and to develop good demeanors toward study activities. At the same time, one may also state that cell phones assist in improving communication among school community since teachers, students and parents might always be in touch about what is happening in the school environment. While these perspectives might have fair points, they ignore some important negative elements that mobile phone might have in the development of youth while in school. Even considering that smartphones are useful, the plethora of activities that might be explored in such devices might transform cell phones in a source of distraction instead of become a source of knowledge. For instance, smartphones with advanced technology offer a lot of interesting educational apps, however it also offers a lot of games and other apps that might be used while in school. Since youth students in general doesn' t have maturity yet to deal with these technologies, they might used it in school only to have some fun and not learn new subjects. Moreover, it is fair to say to cell phones are useful in order to help communicate people. However, students are losing their capacity to keep a face to face conversation since they are spend a lot of time trying to communicate only trough cell phones. This habit might result in damages to these students. For example, they might be not able to express themselves in public, since they are not practicing their capacities to speak and to develop speech. At the same time, they might become very isolated, hence they might be not able to make friends outside the virtual world. In conclusion, it is possible to say that grade school students does not have maturity enough to use cell phones in their educational environment. It is a must that they use this technology only after be capable enough to deal with the positive and negative aspects of such device.
The popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
among youth has
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become
a major
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source
of discussion. One of these discussions
is related
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in environments such as grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this
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device
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
while other persons
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this habit as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
one to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
personally
believe that grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
since it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of distraction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social abilities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may say that modernity requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to bring mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be stated
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is useful to pupils since it has a variety of apps that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to boost their knowledge and to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
demeanors
toward study activities. At the same time, one may
also
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
assist in improving communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
community since teachers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
always be in touch about what is happening in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment.

While these perspectives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
points, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
elements that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have in the development of youth while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Even considering that smartphones are useful, the plethora of activities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be explored
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
transform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of distraction
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of knowledge.
For instance
, smartphones with advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting educational apps,
however
it
also
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
games and other apps that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Since youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in general
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t have maturity
yet
to deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "use"
used
it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun and not learn new subjects.

Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are useful in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
communicate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are losing their capacity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a face to face conversation since they are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time trying to communicate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
trough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. This habit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
result in damages to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be not able to express themselves in public, since they are not practicing their capacities to speak and to develop speech. At the same time, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
isolated,
hence
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends outside the virtual world.

In conclusion
, it is possible to say that grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
does not have maturity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in their educational environment. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after be capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to deal with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay that grade school students should bring a cell phone to school? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
448 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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