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Do you agree or disagree that all students should have an internship during their time at university? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

that all students should have an internship during their time at university? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
Nowadays, indubitably, the world has shrunk into a global village. It has, therefore, become quite easy to get employed and settle anywhere in the world, because of advancements in communication and transportation technology. Owing to this, its major benefit is that it proliferates jobs for the people at the world level, whereas, families are being fragmented due to this phenomenon, which is a major drawback. On the productive side, evolution in modern-day technology is immensely beneficial for the younger generation, by this; they can choose their career in different parts of the world, according to their field of study. Nowadays, when the unemployment rate is sky-high in some countries, people are choosing to migrate to developed countries to not only earn bread and butter for their life, but also the better and secure future of their descendants. Moreover, it also helps to boost the economy of hosting countries, because global talent migrates to other countries for better job opportunities, which aids in the productivity of a nation. For an instance, in NASA, about 35% of employees are from India, they decided to move there because of a lack of employment in their home country; however, working there would not have been possible for them, had the communication and transportation technology is not of top-notch. On the destructive side, with the latest technology of exchanging information and travelling, people are migrating to different parts of the world more frequently than ever before. As a result, families are being divided, which leads to creating an unfillable gap between conventional families. Moreover, moving to developed nations sometimes impetuses to racism and crime. There are several instances of such incidents, when natives let off their hate on the migrants, just because they were given preference in some professions in their country. To exemplify, the report of the United Nations in 2017, revealed that in Australia, there is a steep increase in crime on migrated families based on their colour and background, since 2014. To conclude, although there are some drawbacks of live and work abroad, at the same time it also provides multifarious benefits to the individuals and nations by providing employment and strengthening the economy respectively.
Nowadays,
indubitably
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has shrunk into a global village. It has,
therefore
, become quite easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed and settle anywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advancements in communication and transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Owing to this, its major benefit is that it proliferates jobs for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
level, whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
being fragmented
due to this phenomenon, which is a major drawback.

On the productive side, evolution in modern-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
immensely
beneficial for the younger generation, by this; they can choose their career in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, according to their field of study. Nowadays, when the unemployment rate is sky-high in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are choosing to migrate to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earn bread and butter for their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the better and secure future of their descendants.
Moreover
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost the economy of hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
global talent migrates to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for better job opportunities, which aids in the productivity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. For an instance, in NASA, about 35% of employees are from India, they decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of employment in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
;
however
, working there would not have been possible for them, had the communication and transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not of top-notch.

On the destructive side, with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of exchanging information and travelling,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more
frequently
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
being divided
, which leads to creating an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfillable
gap between conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Moreover
, moving to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
impetuses to racism and crime. There are several instances of such incidents, when natives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
off their hate on the migrants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
preference in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To exemplify, the report of the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
in 2017, revealed that in Australia, there is a steep increase in crime on migrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
based on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
and background, since 2014.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work abroad, at the same time it
also
provides multifarious benefits to the individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by providing employment and strengthening the economy
respectively
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay that all students should have an internship during their time at university? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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