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Do you prefer to learn about the news in a newspaper or on television? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

Do you prefer to learn about the news in a newspaper or on television? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
It is true that a country's success mostly depends on their economic factors. But, there are several other factors which are also equally important for the development of a nation. This essay will discuss about economic and other factors for the success of a country. Economic strength is considered to be the most important for the growth of a nation. Without this, nothing will possible. For example, in developing country like India, the rate of currency lowered down day-by-day. Thus, it cannot give proper benefits to its citizens. This creates chaos which leads to poorer development of a country. Everything is possible if a nation is economically healthy. Hence, economic power is one of the most important factor for measuring success of a nation. Besides this, there are other factors like reduction of poverty and equal education to both the sexes are also important parameters of successful country. Firstly, we can say that where there is poverty, there are lots of problems such as, shortage of food, physical disabilities, poor health conditions etc. Studies have shown that in India, due to poverty, the farmers are not able to do their agricultural work. As a result, they commit suicide. Consequently, there are some countries where girls' education is totally ignored. However, they have no right to go to school. If girls are not educated properly, how they can make future citizens? Hence, co-education should be provided which leads to country's success. To sum up, not only economic factor, buy also poverty reduction and equal education to both boys and girls are important factors of a nation's success. Given this predicament, policies should be made to strengthen country's economic power and provide facilities for girls' education and remove poverty for proper development of a nation.
It is true that a country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
mostly
depends on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there are several other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which are
also
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. This essay will discuss about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a country.

Economic strength
is considered
to be the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Without this, nothing will possible.
For example
, in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like India, the rate of currency lowered down day-by-day.
Thus
, it cannot give proper benefits to its citizens. This creates chaos which leads to poorer development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Everything is possible if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is
economically
healthy.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
power is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for measuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a nation.

Besides
this, there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
like reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to both the sexes are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
parameters of successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
, we can say that where there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, there are lots of problems such as, shortage of food, physical disabilities, poor health conditions etc. Studies have shown that in India, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, the farmers are not able to do their agricultural work.
As a result
, they commit suicide.
Consequently
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where girls'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
However
, they have no right to go to school. If girls are not educated
properly
, how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
future citizens?
Hence
, co-education should
be provided
which leads to country's success.

To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
reduction and equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to both boys and girls are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
of a nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this predicament, policies should
be made
to strengthen country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
power and provide facilities for girls'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
for proper development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you prefer to learn about the news in a newspaper or on television? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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