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Do you agree or disagree that a higher education means a better career? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

that a higher education means a better career? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
People usually select a certain job relying on criteria which fulfils their requirements. Some people opine that the masses prefer adopting a particular work because of the higher salary they offer that resolve financial burdens of the family. This essay will highlight why money is an essential element to look upon while picking an occupation, however few individuals also notice other aspects during the process. To begin with, the revenue is considered a significant factor by many humans before taking an employment. In another word, in this contemporary world, money aids in escalating the quality of life and also abate financial issues within the family. People believe higher the wages, more the status in the society. To cite an example, 70% of people from rural areas migrate to cities only to obtain an employment with rewarding offer so that they could support their family. Provided that, it is undeniable fact that the individual check upon the income prior to choosing a company to work with. Nevertheless, there are few other imperative strands people should recognize such as working environment, location of workplace before appointing a job. If environment where one functions is mismanaged then the skills and the hard work of an employee is of no value because workers are always under pressure and could not execute well resulting in a poor performance. This must be a one reason people suffer from stress related issues at work, isn’t it? Furthermore, a suitable venue of the working site will anticipate less distance to cover while commuting to and from work and aids in saving valuable time. According to the survey by the Indian Employment Office 2018 stated that more than 60% of office going individual prefer working with companies within the vicinity of where they live. Therefore, individuals also notice not only earnings, but some extra details before choosing a job. In conclusion, I believe, money is a most crucial aspect, but there are some other facts, such as location and working environment which are significant to discern ahead of taking a job. The future of a person is determined by the work he does, thereby one must select a proper employment to bestow fruitful and secure life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
select a certain job relying on criteria which
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfils
their requirements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the masses prefer adopting a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the higher salary they offer that resolve financial burdens of the family. This essay will highlight why money is an essential element to look upon while picking an occupation,
however
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
also
notice other aspects during the process.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the revenue
is considered
a significant factor by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
. In another word, in this contemporary world, money aids in escalating the quality of life and
also
abate financial issues within the family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe higher the wages, more the status in the society. To cite an example, 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural areas migrate to cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to obtain an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
with rewarding offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could support their family. Provided that, it is undeniable fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
upon the income prior to choosing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with.

Nevertheless
, there are few other imperative strands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should recognize such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment, location of workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
appointing a job. If environment where one functions
is mismanaged
then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of an employee is of no value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
workers are always under pressure and could not execute well resulting in a poor performance. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a one reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
related issues at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, isn’t it?
Furthermore
, a suitable venue of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
site will anticipate less distance to cover while commuting to and from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and aids in saving valuable time. According to the survey by the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employment
Office 2018 stated that more than 60% of office going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
within the vicinity of where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
also
notice not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earnings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing a job.

In conclusion
, I believe, money is a most crucial aspect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other facts, such as location and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment which are significant to discern ahead of taking a job. The future of a person
is determined
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
he does, thereby one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
select a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
to bestow fruitful and secure life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay that a higher education means a better career? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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