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do you agree or disagree? children should play in outside with their friend than staying at home and playing with computers or cell-phones. v.55

children should play in outside with their friend than staying at home and playing with computers or cell-phones. v. 55
History plays an important role in almost every invention, object that we have currently. It provides vital information about the things that make the world a better place to live. Despite its importance, some people believe that it has nothing to tell us. This essay will discuss both views in brief. All the important inventions are based upon the past studies of famous scientists. There is no denying the fact that necessity is the mother of all inventions, and the research done by the scientists in the past, is now helping millions of people all around the world. For instance, Nikola Tesla, a well known engineer who invented electricity and based on his research and study, we are able to see the entire world in the darkness of a night. On the other side, people believe that history has nothing or little to tell us and we should focus more on the present. There is nothing good in digging the past and we should always look forward. We should look into different ways of improving our lifestyle and help each other in any possible way. However, according to me, living would be so hard if we did not follow the historical aspects of people. To sum up, there are different views of people on the History, but we cannot ignore the fact that it solved lots of problems and mysteries of science. Mankind was able to step on the Moon now and its only possible because of the studies done by our scientists in the past.
History plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in almost every invention, object that we have
currently
. It provides vital information about the things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Despite its importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it has nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us. This essay will discuss both views
in brief
.

All the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
inventions
are based
upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
studies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
scientists. There is no denying the fact that necessity is the mother of all inventions, and the research done by the scientists in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
helping millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world.
For instance
, Nikola Tesla, a well known engineer who invented electricity and based on his research and study, we are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the entire world in the darkness of a night.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that history has nothing or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
we should focus more on the present. There is nothing
The usual preposition for this expression is "at". Did you mean, "good at digging"?
good in digging
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
past and
we should always look forward. We should look into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of improving our lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other in any possible way.
However
, according to me, living would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
if we did not follow the historical aspects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the History,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that it solved lots of problems and mysteries of science. Mankind was able to step on the Moon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the studies done by our scientists in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay children should play in outside with their friend than staying at home and playing with computers or cell-phones. v. 55

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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