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Do you agree or disagree? It is better to work with your own computer and telephone at your home than work in your company's office. v.37

It is better to work with your own computer and telephone at your home than work in your company's office. v. 37
It is universally accepted that children are very delicate and needs some extra care, especially during their early childhood. In today's society, usually both of the parents are working, therefore making time for children is not an easy task for them along with all their professional commitments as well. Therefore, I strongly agree that parents should take childcare training courses these days. First and foremost, parents today are quite occupied, unlike fifty odd years ago thus upbringing of children is getting tougher with very generation. Moreover, the time parents take to learn how to effectively take care of their children can be saved if they take childcare training courses before or soon after the baby is born. For instance, it is quite a task for first time parents to feed their children enough to maintain their healthy weight as kids usually start to skip meals while they are playing. Similarly, experienced parents also can learn new tips on managing a child through its early ages as well as training courses can also teach them how to manage time while bonding with their children. For example, scientific research shows that parents who receive adequate training of handling children, took better care of their kids while balancing their professional lives. Some of these courses also give training to parents in potty training their young ones which is very helpful and needed by every parent. To sum up, I highly agree with parents getting child caring training as this training helps as well as prepare them to better take care of their kids. Also, these trainings help create a strong and a better relationship between the parents and kids from an early age.
It is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
delicate and needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
,
especially
during their early childhood. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society,
usually
both of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working,
therefore
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not an easy task for them along with all their professional commitments
as well
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
these days.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are quite occupied, unlike fifty odd years ago
thus
upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is getting tougher with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
generation.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take to learn how to
effectively
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be saved
if they take childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after the baby
is born
.
For instance
, it is quite a task for
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to feed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to maintain their healthy weight as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to skip meals while they are playing.

Similarly
, experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
can learn new tips on managing a child through its early ages
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can
also
teach them how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while bonding with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, scientific research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who receive adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
of handling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, took better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
while balancing their professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
also
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in potty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
their young ones which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful and needed by every parent.

To sum up, I
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
getting child caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
as well
as prepare them to better take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
create a strong and a better relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
from an early age.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better to work with your own computer and telephone at your home than work in your company's office. v. 37

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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