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do you agree or disagree? one can learn about a person from the types of friends this person has. v.35

one can learn about a person from the types of friends this person has. v. 35
It is generally believed by society that it is crucial to save the nature, yet, no efforts have been observed, to protect. However, this may be due to, not taking onus on themselves. This essay will discuss the measures to tackle this issue in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, the foremost problem is lack of awareness. However, people are not aware of detrimental effects of ignoring this occurrence. Moreover, an individual do not participate to give up, their convenience. For instance, even after knowing the drawbacks of air pollution, most of the persons, are still using their private cars or vehicles, instead of public transports. In addition, this phenomena, results in traffic congestion as well as create more harmful gases. On the other hand, there are some actions, which would help to protect the environment. Firstly, more usage of roadway transportation, such as trains, metro, buses etc. This would help in reducing bad air quality. Secondly, people should have to stop doing over fishing. For example, due to this approach, fishes in the pond or sea, does not get enough time for their reproduction. Moreover, this leads to the extinction of animals as well as sea creatures. To stop these activities, government authorities should have to take few actions, which would help to save the environmental problems. Therefore, from these steps, one could protect rare species as well as nature, from getting exploited. In conclusion, protecting the environment is the responsibility of an each citizen in the world. Some steps should be appreciated by government, as well as, by individually.
It is
generally
believed by society that it is crucial to save the nature,
yet
, no efforts have
been observed
, to protect.
However
, this may be due to, not taking onus on themselves. This essay will discuss the measures to tackle this issue in subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, the foremost problem is lack of awareness.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not aware of detrimental effects of ignoring this occurrence.
Moreover
, an individual do not participate to give up, their convenience.
For instance
, even after knowing the drawbacks of air pollution, most of the persons, are
still
using their private cars or vehicles,
instead
of public transports.
In addition
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena, results in traffic congestion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as create more harmful gases.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect the environment.
Firstly
, more usage of roadway transportation, such as trains, metro, buses etc. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
air quality.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
doing over fishing.
For example
, due to this approach, fishes in the pond or sea, does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for their reproduction.
Moreover
, this leads to the extinction of animals as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as sea creatures. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
these activities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take few actions, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save the environmental problems.
Therefore
, from these steps, one could protect rare species as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as nature, from getting exploited.

In conclusion
, protecting the environment is the responsibility of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "an" or "each" is left.
an each
citizen in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
steps should
be appreciated
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as, by
individually
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay one can learn about a person from the types of friends this person has. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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