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do you agree or disagree? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. v.26

Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. v. 26
In the current market, container foods are one of the main fast moving consumer goods in the world over. There is a strong argument among people that native products should be promoted rather than the imported ones. Although the international foodstuff products cannot be ignored, i believe that the society should give preference to locally made items, because it benefits both individual and the nation's economy. It is an undeniable fact that the locally available raw materials for foodstuffs are cheaper than the others. This is because these items are produced and marketed within the country are exempted from certain charges. For instance, traders have to pay huge money once they receive the shipment, which may double the actual cost of the food products. As a result, these retailers are forced to increase the price in order to sustain in the market. Therefore, by promoting locally made food products, consumers can save their money. Moreover, local trade of these items are highly beneficial for the nation's economy. This is due to the fact that the money will circulate within the country and it would boost the country's economic scale positively. For example, obviously for imported goods the sellers will charge a high margin of profits and by importing that there will be a huge outflow of cash. Consequently, this may contribute to a nation's recession. Thus, by consuming the items available within the region would help to maintain the financial stability of one's homeland. In conclusion, when it comes to food products, people should consider the local ration items well above the foreign ones. Although other countries will have a wide variety of products, local purchase can save an individual's pocket and helps to build a better economy eventually.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
market, container
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are one of the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the world over. There is a strong argument among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be promoted
rather
than the imported ones. Although the international foodstuff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that the society should give preference to
locally
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it benefits both individual and the nation's economy.

It is an undeniable fact that the
locally
available raw materials for foodstuffs are cheaper than the others. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are produced
and marketed within the country
are exempted
from certain charges.
For instance
, traders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay huge money once they receive the shipment, which may double the actual cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
As a result
, these retailers
are forced
to increase the price in order to sustain in the market.
Therefore
, by promoting
locally
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, consumers can save their money.

Moreover
, local trade of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are
highly
beneficial for the nation's economy.
This is due to the fact that
the money will circulate within the country and it would boost the country's economic scale
positively
.
For example
,
obviously
for imported
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
the sellers will charge a high margin of profits and by importing that there will be a huge outflow of cash.
Consequently
, this may contribute to a nation's recession.
Thus
, by consuming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
available within the region would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain the financial stability of one's homeland.

In conclusion
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should consider the local ration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
well above the foreign ones. Although other countries will have a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
can save an individual's pocket and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build a better economy
eventually
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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