Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

do you agree or disagree? famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy that they have now. v.27

famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy that they have now. v. 27
Since the industrial revolution, developing and developed countries have been increasing the production rates in multiple industry sections. Nevertheless, as a consequence of this overproduction and excessive exploration, our planet has been facing daunting environmental challenges. To overcome these statistics, some actions of the government and society must be taken. The first transformation required to decrease the industrial power is in the client’s mindset. Currently, most people follow the Capitalist notion that is making them purchase more and more every day. Consequently, most sectors tend to enhance production to attend the costumers’ demand. If individuals adopted minimalist ideas, the large necessary of goods would drastically reduce. To illustrate the difference, while an average American purchases one-hundred new products monthly, a minimalist person barely buys twenty. Thus, as a logical result, companies would reduce production to follow the market. In addition to social transformations, public administration must also take action. The fundamental measure is to increase taxes over large-scale industries, making each product cost more expensive. As a result, entrepreneurs might take extra care to not excessive produce. Moreover, the government should also cut taxes from high-quality goods. Therefore, products that last longer would have a more competitive price in the sales market. For instance, in Denmark, after the reduction of taxes in the low-fashion industry, the general consumes of clothes dropped forty percent. To conclude, in order to overweigh the surplus production in the global industry that directly affects natural resources, citizens should change their consumer behaviour. Moreover, the government must use taxes to transform the traditional market into a more sustainable one.
Since the industrial revolution, developing and
developed countries
have been increasing the
production
rates in multiple
industry
sections.
Nevertheless
, as a consequence of this overproduction and excessive exploration, our planet has been facing daunting environmental challenges. To overcome these statistics,
some
actions of the
government
and society
must
be taken
.

The
first
transformation required to decrease the industrial power is in the client’s mindset.
Currently
, most
people
follow the Capitalist notion
that is
making them
purchase
more and more every day.
Consequently
, most sectors tend to enhance
production
to attend the costumers’ demand. If individuals adopted minimalist
ideas
, the large necessary of
goods
would
drastically
reduce
. To illustrate the difference, while an average American
purchases
one-hundred new products monthly, a minimalist person
barely
buys
twenty.
Thus
, as a logical result,
companies
would
reduce
production
to follow the market.

In addition
to social transformations, public administration
must
also
take action. The fundamental measure is to increase
taxes
over large-scale
industries
, making each product cost more expensive.
As a result
, entrepreneurs might take extra care to not excessive produce.
Moreover
, the
government
should
also
cut
taxes
from high-quality
goods
.
Therefore
, products that last longer would have a more competitive price in the sales market.
For instance
, in Denmark, after the reduction of
taxes
in the low-fashion
industry
, the general consumes of clothes dropped forty percent.

To conclude
, in order to
overweigh
the surplus
production
in the global
industry
that
directly
affects natural resources, citizens should
change
their consumer
behaviour
.
Moreover
, the
government
must
use
taxes
to transform the traditional market into a more sustainable one.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy that they have now. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts