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Do you agree or disagree? Although technology had made communication easier, there are still as many misunderstandings among people as there were in the past. v.22

Although technology had made communication easier, there are still as many misunderstandings among people as there were in the past. v. 22
It is thought by some that for teenagers money is the best possession; however, others believe it is not. In my opinion, while having sufficient funds is necessary, money in excess leads to deviation, and its flow towards teenage population should be controlled. On one hand, money is regarded as the most important thing teenage students could have according to some. This is mainly because money can buy them books, study material, and could also help finance their extracurricular activities. Having the amount of the sum needed for the purchase of quality study material solves the financial hurdle, so that students would spend more time on studies rather than working to arrange for the funds. Another reason why teenagers should have money is to teach them to manage it efficiently. Furthermore, in between long periods of study, money could help students plan a trip to refresh themselves. On the other hand, many, owing to the ease of access of luxury, disregards money as the best aid a teenage student have, and I agree. As teenagers are mostly naive with regards to managing their own finances, parents should keep the amount given to them under strict check. Moreover, limiting the amount of money is also crucial in order to save them from acquiring unhealthy habits, which further have a negative impact on their academic performance. Many of the students from well off families, for instance, have prompt access to the best possible study material available, but they often end up having poor results. The reason for this is that money, by introducing luxury, prevent students to struggle for better grades. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that teenagers should be monitored closely with respect to the amount of money furnished towards them.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best possession;
however
, others believe it is not. In my opinion, while having sufficient funds is necessary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in excess leads to deviation, and its flow towards teenage population should
be controlled
.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is regarded
as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could have according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them books,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
material, and could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
finance their extracurricular activities. Having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of the sum needed for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
material solves the financial hurdle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would spend more time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
rather
than working to arrange for the funds. Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is to teach them to manage it
efficiently
.
Furthermore
, in between long periods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
plan a trip to refresh themselves.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, owing to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access of luxury, disregards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as the best aid a teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
mostly
naive
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
managing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
finances, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them under strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
.
Moreover
, limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
also
crucial in order to save them from acquiring unhealthy habits, which
further
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their academic performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from well off families,
for instance
, have prompt access to the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
material available,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up having poor results.
The reason for this is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, by introducing luxury,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to struggle for better grades.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
be monitored
closely
with respect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
furnished towards them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Although technology had made communication easier, there are still as many misunderstandings among people as there were in the past. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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